The Language of Love, Lust, Sex

and All the Many-Splendored Things in Between in Teenspeak - Jockspeak - Menglish - Slanglish - Spanglish Gaylese - Americanese - Britspeak - Ozslang - Funetic Populo-Vulgar Speech - T-Shirt & Net Shorthand Pompo-Verbosity & other Figurative Lingos
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Male Masturbation:



Synonyms: 5-digit-disco, a date with Manuel, ball-off, balling-off, balls-deep-into-your-fist, bananas-and-cream, bang-the-banjo, bang-the-bishop, bang-the-wanger, banging-the-drum, bank-with-Barclays, Barclay's-bank, bash-the-bishop, bashing-the-bishop, bashing-the-candle, bashing-the-dummy, bat-off, batting-practice, a-date-with-Manuela, a-date-with-Senorita-Mano, a-visit-from-Mother-Fist, accosting-the-Oscar-Meyer, activating-cruise-control, addressing-Mr.-Palmer, adjusting-your-set, ambidexterity, answer-the-bone-a-phone, applying-for-a-fishing-liscence, applying-the-hand-brake, arm-aerobics, arm-breaker, armswing, armswinging, arthur, articulate-the-archdeacon, assault-on-a-friendly-weapon, attacking-the-one-eyed-purple-headed-warrior, auditioning-the-hand-puppet, bachelor's-delight, bachelor's-fare, backstroke-roulette, baiting the hook, battling-the-purple-helmeted-warrior, be-your-own-best-friend, beat, beat-it, beat-meat, beat-off, beat-one's-little-brother, beat-Pete, beat-the-bald-headed-bandit, beat-the-bishop, beat-the-dork, beat-the-dummy, beat-the-goose, beat-the-hog, beat-the-meat, beat-the-pud, beat-the-pup, beat-the-tom-tom, beat-your-meat-like-it-owes-you-money, beating-it-with-a-smile-on-your-face, beating-your-meat-on-the-toilet-seat, beating-off, beating-the-bait, beating-the-bed-flute, beating-the-bishop, beating-the-boner, beating-the-meat, beating-the-old-man, beating-the-piss-outta-my-best-friend, beating-the-pud, beating-the-snake, beating-the-stick, beef-stroke-it-off, being your own best friend, bell-polishing, bequeath-your-genes, best orgasm you'll ever get, the, biffing-off, big-date-with-Rosy-Palms, big-stroke-time, bishoprage, blanket-drill, bleed-the-goose, bleed-the-lizard, bleed-the-weed, bloating-the-vein, blooch, blow-off, blowing your load, beating-the-bologna, bludgeon-the-beefsteak, blue-vein-shuffle, bob, bob-the-bologna, bobbing-the-boloney, body-rub, boff, boffer, boffing, bollock-service, bologna-bop, bombing-the-German-helmet, bop, bop-the-baloney, bopping-the-bishop, bopping-the-bologna, bopping-Richard, bopping-the-bonzo, box-the-Jesuit-(and-get-cockroaches), boxing-the-bald-champ, boxing-the-bald-headed-clown, boxing-the-ballsack, boxing-the-Bozak, boxing-the-clown, blowing-your-own-horn, brandle, break-one-off, bring-down-(by-hand), bring-off-by-hand, bring-up-by-hand, buck-the-bone, bucking-it, buff-the-dog, buff-the-mushroom, buff-the-pylon, buffing (the magic lamp), buffing-the-bishop, buffing-the-banana, buffing-the-helmet, buffing-the-rifle, buffing-the-wood, buggering-the-hand, burp-the-baldman, burp-the-worm, burping-the-baby, burping-the-worm, bust-a-nut, buttering-the-corn, buttering-the-muffin, boxing-with-Richard, calling-all-cum, calling-down-for-more-mayo, caning-the-vandal, capturing-the-bishop, carrying-weight, cast off, catch-up-with-Popeye, catching-a-case-of-whackinitis, celebrating-Palm-Sunday, changing-your-oil, charge-the-rod, charm-the-cobra, charm-the-serpent, charming-the-snake, cheat-the-meat, check-the-oil, checking-for-testicular-cancer, cheesing-off, chicken-grabbing, chicken-milking, chipping-wood, choke-hold, choke-the-bad-guy, choke-the-chicken, cabareting, choke-the-gopher, choking-Charlie-'till-he-throws-up, choking-Kojak, choking-the-bald-guy-until-he-pukes, choking-the-chipmunk, choking-the-sheriff-and-waiting-for-the-posse-to-come, chong-your-schlong, chuff, churn, churn butter, churn-the-butter, churning-butter, churning-the-butter, circle-jerk, clamming-the-engram, clamping-the-pipe, clap-with-one-hand, clean-the-pipe(s), cleaning-the-rifle, cleaning-the-storm-drains, clear-the-custard, clearing-the-snorkel, climbing-the-tree, climbing-Mount-Baldy, choke-the-chook, closet-frisbee, closing-the-deal, clubbing-eddy, clubbing-the-clam, coating-prince-william-sound-with-love-oil, cock-the-cannon, cock-your-shotgun, colonel-sanders-heimleich-maneuver, color-in-the-coloring-book, come-into-your-own, come-the-turkey, comforting-Gary-Coleman, coming-into-your-own, coming-one's-mutton, coming-to-grips-with-yourself, conking-the-cardinal, consult-Dr.-Jerkoff, converse-with-Harry-Palm, cooking-the-cream-of-cock, corralling-the-tadpoles, couch-hockey-for-one, court-Madam-Knuckle, crab-tease, crack-off-a-batch, clobbering-the-kleenex, cracking-off, cracking-the-bat, crank, crank-the-cream, crank-the-cream-separator, crank-the-love-pump, crank-the-monkey, crank-the-shaft, crank-the-shank, cranking-for-cum, cranking-the-corona, cream-your-corn, creamed-beef, creaming-the-cheese, create-an-arch, crimping-the-wire, crown-the-king, cuddling-the-kielbasa, cuff-the-carrot, cuff-the-dummy, cuff-the-meat, cuff-the-puppy, dance-with-Johnnie-One-eye, dancing-with-myself, dinky-the-slinky, discipline-your-soldier, dancing-with-the-captain, dash-one's-doodle, date-Mother-Palm-and-her-five-daughters, date-Miss-Michigan, date-Palmala-Handerson, dating-Manuella, dating-Rosie-Palm-and-her-five-sisters, dating-the-Palm-sisters, dating-Thumbalina-and-her-four-sisters, dealing, decongesting-the-weasel, defrosting-the-fridge, devil's-handshake, dicky-whacking, diddle, disciplining-the-primate, dishonorable-discharge, doing-hard-time-in-the-hand-slammer, doing-it-your-way, doing-the-five-knuckle-chuckle, doing the five knuckle chuckle on the old piss pipe, doing the five knuckle chuckle on the old piss pump, doing the five-knuckle shuffle, doing the five knuckle shuffle on the old piss pipe, doing the five knuckle shuffle on the old piss pump, disobey-the-Pope, disseminating, diurnal-pollution, do-a-dry-waltz-with-oneself, do-it-yourself, do-the-dew, do-the-Han-Solo, do-the-wet-n-stinky, do-yourself-off, docking-in-shuttle-bay-5, doddle-whacking, doing-a-hand-job, doing-a-little-soft-shoe, doing-battle-with-the-purple-helmeted-warrior-of-love, doing-handiwork, diddling, diddling-the-dinky, doing-the-hand-jive, doing-the-human-version-of-autoexec.bat, drilling-for-oil-in-your-own-backyard, driving-the-skin-bus, dropping-a-line, dropping-stomach-pancakes, dry-firing-the-musket, dry-humping-the-ottoman, doing-the-janitor-thing, doing-the-knuckle-shuffle-on-the-ol'-piss-pump, doing-the-pork-sword-jiggle, doing-the-solitary-rhumba, doing-the-white-knuckler, doing-your-own-thing, dollop-the-weener, dong-flogging, doodle-the-noodle, double-jacking, downing-at-the-club-(for-members-only), drain-Charle's-Dickens, drain-the-vein, drain-the-dragon, draining-the-monster, draining-the-poisons-from-the-building, draw-on-a-length, digitally-oscillating-the-penis, dilly-with-the-willy, dinging-the-dong, culture-the-American-Blood-Sausage, cum-the-scum, Custer's-last-stand, cracking-nuts, dual-masturbation, dundering-the-devil, dunk-the-dolphin, dusting-the-old-trophy, educating-Peter, electing-the-president, empty-the-cannon, encapsulate-your-probe, engaging-in-internal-revenue-service, engaging-in-safe-sex, enjoying-yourself, erupting-the-volcano, erupting-Vesuvius, evicting-the-testicular-squatters, excercise-your-rights, experiencing-men-o-paws, express-a-secret-vice, express-yourself-(manually), faxing-Jimmy-Dean, faxing-the-pope, feed-the-ducks, feed-the-fist, feed-the-spunk-o-meter, feed-the-stick, feeding-the-chooks, fetch-metal, fetch-mettle, fidget-the-midget, fidget-with-the-digit, fight-the-champ, fight-the-turkey, file-the-fun-rod, filling-up-the-belly-button-well, fire-the-hand-cannon, fire-the-wobbly-warhead, fire-your-wad, firing-off-a-round, firing-the-flesh-musket, firing-the-surgeon-general, firm-the-worm, first you grab it by the head then you beat it till it's dead, fishing-for-trouser-trout, fishing-for-zipper-trout, fist-flick, fist-fuck, fist-fucking, fist-fucking-the-piss-pump, fist-it-off, fist-kebabing-101, feel-in-one's-pocket-for-one's-big-hairy-rocket, fist-the-mister, fisting-the-mister, five-against-one, five-against-Willy, five-finger-boogie-on-the-blue-vein, five-finger discount, five-finger-exercise(s), five-finger-knuckle-shuffle, five-finger-lingo, five-finger-solo, five-fingers-against-one-penis, five-knuckle chuckle, five-knuckle olympics, five-knuckle shuffle, five-knuckle shuffle on the old piss pump, five-knuckle shuffle on the piss pump, five-on-one, fives, fixing the plumbing, flapping-takkie, flaying-the-emperor, flex-one's-sex, flexing Russell the one-eyed love muscle, flick-the-BIC, fist-of-fury, flp it around, flip-it-off, flip-off, flip-oneself-off, flipping-the-bishop, flog, flog-(oneself), flog-a-dead-horse, flog-a-willing-horse, flog-it, flog-the-bishop, flog-the-dog, flog-the-dolphin, flog-the-dong, flog-the-donkey, flog-the-dummy, flog-the-goose, flog-the-hog, flog-the-infidel, flog-the-lizard, flog-the-log, flog-the-meat, flog-the-mutton, flog-the-old-whipping-boy, flick-on-over-the-thumb, flog-the-pup, flog-the-sausage, flog-the-whipping-boy, flogging the bishop, flogging-the-dog, flogging-the-dolphin, flogging-the-dong, flogging the dummy, flogging-the-frog, flogging-the-hog, flogging-the-mule, flogging the old dog, flogging-the-poodle, flogging-the-salami, flogging-your-dumber-brother, flogging your log, flogging-your-pride, flong-the-dong, flopping-beef, flub-the-dub, flushing babies, flute-solo, fly-fishing, fondling-the-fig, flog-the-pork, frig, frig-off, frig-oneself, frigging, frigging-the-love-muscle, friggit, friggle, frosting-the-pastries, fuck-fist, fuck-the-fist, fuck-your-fist, fuck-off, freeing-Willy, get-one's-nuts-off, get-oneself-off, get-some-self, fuck-one's-fist, fuck-Mary-Fist, fuck-palmala, fucking Miss Michigan, gaining an inch, gallop-the-antelope, gallop-the-goose, gallop-the-maggot, gallop-the-old-lizard, galloping-the-lizard, genital-stimulation-via-phalangetic-motion, genitalic-stimulation-via-phallengetic-motion, get-gravel-for-the-goose, getting-gnarly-with-the-knudster, getting-in-touch-with-your-manhood, getting-in-touch-with-yourself, get-some-trim, get-to-know-yourself, get to the peak of your peker, getting-a-date-with-slick-mittens, getting-a-grip-on-things, getting-a-hold-of-yourself, getting-a-little-off-hand, getting-a-stiffy, getting-chafed, getting jiggy (or jizzy) with it, getting-ones-nuts-off, getting-stripped-of-your-grammy, getting-the-german-soldier-marching, getting-the-glue-stick, getting-to-know-yourself, getting-to-know-yourself-personally-in-the-biblical-sense, getting-your-caps-peeled, getting your palm read (or red), getting your palm read by Mister Softee (or Softy), getting-your-pole-varnished, gherkin-jerking, getting gissy with the goo, give-it-a-one-gun-salute, give-oneself-a-handjob, give-oneself-a-low-five, giving flipper a backrub, giving-it-a-tug, giving-the-general-a-five-finger-salute, giving the pope a stroke, giving-Yul-Brenner-the-high-five, glazing-the-knuckle, gluing-the-lady's-eye-shut, go-a-couple-rounds-with-the-champ(ion), go-back-to-the-wig-wam-and-beat-the-tom-tom, go-on-a-hand-diet, go-to-war-with-yourself, going-a-couple-of-rounds-with-Ol'-Josh, going-cabareting, going-eye-to-eye-with-Johnny-Hung, going-on-a-date-with-Handrea, going-on-a-date-with-Palmela, going-on-a-date-with-Rosey-Palm-and-the-five-daughters, going-blind, going-on-Peewee's-little-adventure, going-on-the-blow, going-on-the-dole, gilding-the-lily, going surfing on mount baldy, going-with-Ms.-Thumb-&-her-four-daughters, got a date with Rosie Palm(er), grab-the-flab, grappling-the-gorilla, grasping at the opportunity, grease-the-goofy, greasing-the-flagpole, greasing-the-pipe, greasing-your-bone, grind-off, grinding-the-goo-shooter, grip-it, grip-the-gorilla, grip-the-tip, gripping-Flipper, gripping-the-pencil, growing a tree then chopping it down, growing-hair-on-the-palms, gushing-the-geyser, hack-off, hack-the-hog, hack-the-mack, hair-in-hand, going-out-with-Mother-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters, ham-shank, Han-Solo, handball, hand-fuck, hand-gallop, hand-game, hand-gig, hand-head, hand-jig, hand-jive, hand-job, hand-labor, hand-relief, hand-shandy, hand-solo, hand-to-gland-combat, hand-work, handful-of-pleasure,-a, handle, handling the hard-on, hands-on-training, handy-work, hanging-five, hanging-the-old-man, ham-boning, haul-your-own-ashes, have-a-date-with-a-handkerchief, have-a-wank, have-one-off-the-wrist, having-a-ball, having a ball... well, two actually, having-a-conversation-with-the-one-eyed-trouser-snake, having-a-date-with-Fisty-Palmer, having-a-date-with-Rosie-Palm-and-her-five-sisters, having a date with the five-fingered widow, having-a-five-knuckle-shuffle, having-a-ham-shank, having-a-J.-Arthur, having-a-one-night-stand-with-yourself, having-a-roy, having-a-sherman, having a staff meeting, having-a-tug, having-a-tug-of-war-with-the-cyclops, having-a-whack-attack, having an affair with digits, having-an-arm-wrestle-with-your-one-eyed-vessel, having an intelligent conversation with Dick, having an oscar-meyer moment, hard-labor, having-it-off, having-one-off-the-wrist, having-sex-with-someone-you-love, helping-the-python-shed-its-skin, helping Tom Sawyer white-wash the fence, herkin'-the-gherkin, hit-on-Rosy-Palm, hit-the-ham, hitchhike-under-the-big-top, hitchhiking-to-heaven, hitchhiking-underneath-the-big-top, hold-the-bold, holding-the-sausage-hostage, holding-your-sausage-hostage, holding-my-own, holding-on-to-a-family-heirloom, hone-the-bone, hone the cone, honking-Bobo, hotdog-a-rama, hot-rod-it, housebreaking-the-cat, hug-the-hog, hump-the-horn, having-dinner, hump-your-fist, humping-air, humping-the-hose, humping the old hand, hurting-Burt-until-he-squirts, husk-it, ignite-the-lightsaber, in-hand, infanticide, inflating the zepplin, installing-a-burglar-alarm, invading-Poland, ironing-some-wrinkles, jack-and-jill-off-party, jack-hammer, jack-hammering, jack-off, jack-off-party, jack-off-session, jack-the-corn, jack-the-joystick, jack-the-sack, jack-your-jizz, jack-yourself, hump-the-hose, jacking-the-beanstalk, jag-off, jam-the-joystick, jazz-oneself, jazzing yourself, jeff-off, jerk, jerk-Jamby, jerk-jelly, jerk-job, jerk-off, jerk-the-gherkin, jerk-the-joint, jerk-the-johnson, jerk-the-mutton, jerk-the-rope, jerk-the-Turk, jerk-the-turkey, jerk-up, jerk-your-jewels, jerk-yourself-a-soda, jerkin's-hand-lotion, jerking-jamby, jerking-off, jacking (off), jerking-the-gherkin, jerking-the-noodle, jerking-the-turkey, jerking-the-wheel, jiggle-the-jewelry, jiggling the branch to shake the nuts loose, jiggling-the-dice, jiggling the handle, jiggling-your-cockanballs, jimmying-the-joey, jiring-one's-wad, jizzlobbing, J/O (JO / j.o.), J/O-scene, Jodrell-Bank, jog-off, jollification, juggling-the-coullions, juice-the-fruit, just hold it right there!, just-jerkin'-it, keep-a-date-with-bobby-palm-and-his-five-brother, keep-down-the-census, keep-the-census-down, jerking the cherkin, kicking-seamen, killing-45-seconds, killing-it, knead-your-dough, kneading-the-knockwurst, knitting, knob, knob-polishing, knob-shining, knock-on-wood, knuckle-shuffle, knuckle-shuffle-on-the-ol'-piss-pump, knock-the-top-off, knuckling-the-bone, lark, lathering the latin love lance, launching-the-hand-shuttle, launching-the-head-of-a-world-cup-golfer, launching-the-tadpoles, leaking-the-main-drain, Levy-and-Frank, lightening-the-load, lighting-the-candle, lighting-the-pipe, kick-the-gong-around, little-southern-romance, loading-the-cannon, local, looking-askance, looking-for-ticks, lope-the-mule, loves labors lost, loving-the-muppet, loving-thy-self, lube-the-cord, lubing-the-tube, lubricating the love stick, lubricating the piston, M-and-M, maintaining-a-holding-pattern, make-a-milkshake, make-fist-kabobs, make-love-to-ones-fist, make-love-with-Mother-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters, make-love-with-Rosy-Palm-and-her-five-sisters, make-silly-with-the-Willy, make the bald man puke, making-a-banana-spit, making-a-banana-split, little-pinky-hit-the-slinky, making-a-foreskin-cone, making a knuckle hot dog, making-a-six-fist, making-duck-butter, making-friends-with-Big-Ed, making-instant-pudding, making-love-with-Miss-Right, making mayo, making-nut-butter, making-oyster-soup, making-the-bald-man-cry, making-the-scene-with-the-magazine, making-vanilla-jism-shakes, making-yogurt, making-yourself-at-home, mangling-the-midget, manipulating-the-mango, manning-the-cannon, manning-the-cockpit, manual-exercise(s), manual-gratification, manual-job, manual-labor, manual-override, making a deposit in the toilet bank of america, manual-pollution, manual-preference, manual-release, manual-sex, manual-titillation, manually-assisted-wet-dream, manustupration, manuxorate, masonic-secret-self-handshake, massage-the-fireman's-neck, massage-the-one-eyed-monk, massage-your-muscle, massage-your-purple-headed-warrior, master-bacon, maximize-your-potency, measuring the circumference of your penis, measuring-for-condoms, meet-Mrs.-Palmer-and-her-five-daughters, meet-your-right-hand-man, meeting-Mary-Palm-and-her-five-sisters, meeting-Rosie-Hancock, meeting-with-Mother-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters, messing-with-Moby, milk, manual-persuasion, milk-the-chicken, milk-the-lizard, milk-the-maggot, milking-one's-self, milking-the-bull, milking-the-cow, milking-the-moose, milking-the-musket, milking-the-weasel, milkywaying, minding-my-own-business, Miss-Fist, mix-up-a-batch, molesting-the-mole, monkey-slapping, monkey-spanking, mount-a-corporal-and-four, moving-into-a-one-bedroom-apartment, much-goo-about-nothing, mugging the kojak doll, mule-breeding, murder-the-Bishop, mustard-on-the-burger, nerking-the-throbber, milk it, ngocok, noiseless hobby, oiling-the-glove, oiling-the-pogo-stick, Onan's-Olympics, Onan up, onanera, one-eye-target-practice, one-gun-salute, one-hand-clapping, one-handed-clapping, one-legged-race, one man band, one-man-show, one-man-tug-o-war, one-off-the-wrist, one-stick-drum-improvisation, one-two, oscillating-the-Oscar-Meyer, owner operator, pack-the-palm, packaging-the-ol'-sausage, packing-the-palm, paddle-the-pickle, paddling-the-peter, paddling-the-pickle, paddling-the-robin, paint-the-ceiling, painting-the-pickle, painting-the-walls, palm-it, Palmala-Handerson, palming-the-calm, parading the troops (corporal and five privates), passing-math, pat-me-muller, pat-the-Robertson, patting the pooter, pause-that-refreshes,-the, paw-paw-tricks, peeling-the-banana, peeling-the-carrot, peeling-some-chilies, performing-a-self-test, performing-an-organ-solo, performing-diagnostics-on-your-mantool, perm-the-poodle, petting-the-lizard, paddling my pork, night-club, petting the monkey, petting-the-snake, petting-the-Wookie, petting-your-dog, phoning-the-czar, pickle dancing, piddle-the-pud, pinch-the-cat, pink-piston-practice, pipping-the-pumpkin, pitch-a-knuckle-ball, play-a-flute-solo-on-one's-meat-whistle, play-billiards, play-pocket-billiards, play-pocket-pool, play-solitaire, play-the-bones, play-the-male-organ, play-the-piss-pipe, play-the-skin-flute, play-with-oneself, play with (your) Willy Wanker, playing-a-bass-solo, playing-a-little-five-on-one, playing-a-little-game-of-five-on-one, playing-a-solo-on-the-meat-whistle, playing-chopsticks, playing five against one, playing-in-a-one-man-show, playing one arm bandit, playing one eyed bandit, playing-peek-a-boo-(with-Mr.-Johnson), playing-pocket-pinball, playing-pocket-pool, playing rumple foreshin, playing-soapy-Peter, playing-solitaire, playing-tag-with-the-pink-torpedo, playing-the-fiddle, playing-the-flesh-flute, playing-the-flesh-trombone, playing-the-hairy-banjo, playing with my yo yo, playing-with-oneself, pocket-polka, pocket-pool, pocket-waltz, point-one's-social-finger, pole-vaulting, polish-the-bayonet, polish-the-chrome-dome, playing-with-Susi-Palmer-and-her-five-friends, playing-with-the-pink-Power-Ranger, playing-with-the-spitting-llama, playing-with-the-turtle, playing with the upright organ, playing-with-your-big-Alien, playing with your 6th finger, playing-Yahtzee, please-the-pisser, pleasing-the-pisser, pleasing the turtle, plucking-the-chicken, plunking-the-twanger, pocket-billiards, pocket-pinball, playing-the-man-flute, playing-the-one-stringed-melody, playing-the-pink-oboe, playing-the-skin-flute, playing-tug-o-war-with-the-cyclops, playing-uno, playing-with-dick, playing-with-it, polish-the-knob, polish-the-horn, polish-the-log, polish-the-Oscar, polish-the-pole, polish-the-shooter, polish-the-viper, polishing-Charlie-Brown, polishing-Percy-in-your-palm, polishing-the-beak, polishing the cane, polishing-the-family-jewels, polishing-the-helmet, polishing-the-night-stick, polishing-the-pud, polishing-the-rocket, polishing-the-silver, polishing-the-sword, pound-it, pound-off, preparing-the-carrot, prime-it, prime-the-pump, prime-the-womb-cannon, priming-the-pump, prodding-the-half-cooked-pastrami, prompt-the-porpoise, pound-the-bobo, pound-the-flounder, pound-the-meat, pound-the-peenie, pound-the-pork, pound-the-pud, pounding-off, pounding-the-bald-headed-moose, pounding-the-flounder, pounding the pepperoni, pounding-the-pud, pounding-the-pudding, pounding your pud, pow-wow-with-the-one-eyed-Redskin, practicing your mantra, practising, pollute, popping-a-nut, popping-the-cork, popping-the-purple-pimple, popping-the-zit, prune-the-fifth-limb, prostate-maintenance, pull-the-pud, pull-the-pin, pub-the-dub, pud-pulling, pud-wrestling, pudwhacking, puff-the-one-eyed-dragon, pull it off, pull-off, pull-one-off, pull-one's-dong, pull-one's-joint, pull-one's-pud, pull-one's-wang, pull-oneself-off, pull-putz, pull-some-lumber, pull the ducks neck, pull-the-joint, pull-the-peter, pull-the-pope, pull-the-pole, pull-the-root, pulling-the-pope, pulling-the-pud, pulling-the-putz, pulling-the-taffy, pull-the-taffy, pull-the-wire, pull-wire, pull-your-prick, pulling-a-solo-session, pulling-on-Peter, pulling-off, pulling-rank, pulling rank on private one-eye, pulling-the-bologna-pony, pulling the bull, pulling-the-carrot, pulling-the-colonel-sanders-heimleich-manuever, pulling-the-weed, pulling-the-wire, pumping-for-power, pumping-the-electric-goo-gun, pumping-the-gas-at-the-self-service-island, pumping-the-stump, punchin'-the-munchkin, punching-the-clown, punching-the-puppet, punish-Percy-in-the-palm, punish-the-Harlequin, punishing-the-pope, pulling-your-prick, pulling-your-goalie, pulling-your-own-leg, pummel-the-love-truncheon, pummeling-the-priest, pump-off, pump-oneself-off, pump-one's-pickle, pump-ship, pump-the-monkey, pump-the-python, pumping-cream, pumping-for-pleasure, pulling-the-five-knuckle-shuffle, pulling-the-cord, pulling-the-goalie, pulling-the-handbrake, pulling-the-mule, pulling-the-pole, pull-the-pork, pull-the-pudding, Portuguese pump(ing), posh-wank, playing-a-one-stringed-guitar, pushing-the-daisy-and-make-it-cum, qualifying-in-the-testicular-time-trial, R2-your-D2, raise-the-flag, raising-Lazarus-from-the-dead, raising-the-mainsail, rake-your-meat, ram-the-ham, rank, rapid-one-arm-pull-ups, raping your hand, ravage-the-innocent, reading-poetry, reading-with-one-hand, relieve-oneself, relieving oneself, relieving-tension, returning-to-sender, ride-the-great-white-knuckler, riding-the-great-white-knuckler, ringing-for-the-elevator, rise and fall of Peter the Great, the, roasting-chestnuts, rod-walloping, rodgering, rogering, rolling-your-own, rolling-the-fleshy-blunt, Roman-helmet-rumba, romancing-Lady-Five-Fingers, romancing-the-bone, Romeo-and-himself, ropin' the long horn, roping-the-pony, roping-the-pope, roughing-up-the-suspect, rowing-the-boat, rub, rub-it-off, rubbing one off, rubbing-one-out, sacrificing-sperm-to-the-god-of-lonely-nights, sailors'-joy, salute-the-sailor, saluting Captain Winky, saluting the commander, saluting the general, sanding-the-banister, sanding the woody, sanding-wood, schnauzer-shuffleboard, rubbing-the-magic-one-eyed-wonder-weasel, rubbing-the-pink-eraser, rubbing-the-rod, run-a-batch, run-one's-hand-up-the-flagpole, run-off-by-hand, running a batch (off by hand), running-off-a-batch-by-hand, running-Peter-through-two-a-days, running-the-cheeta, running-the-100-yard-dash, running-the-whack-a-thon, rub-off, rub-off-by-hand, rub-one-out, rub one's..., rub oneself, rub-the-knob, rub-the-(little)-head, rub-the-magic-lamp, rub-the-radish, schplitzing-the-schmeckel, scouring-the-tower-of-power, shake-hands-with-the-wife's-best-friend, shake-it-up, scraping-the-horn, screw-off, se-branler, se-crosser, se-faire-les-cinq-doigts-de-la-main, se-passer-un-poignet, secret-handshake, secret-indulgence, secret-sin, secret-vice, see-Madam(e)-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters, self-inflicted-intercourse, self-induced-penile-regurgitation, serta-solo, setting-off-a-depth-charge, shake-the-snake, shake-the-weasel, shaking-the-dice, shaking the dew off the water lily, shaking-the-hand-of-the-self-employed, shaking-the-hand-of-the-unemployed, shaking-the-sauce, shaking-the-snake, shaking-the-sausage, shaking-your-fist-at-the-sky, shaking-hands-with-Abraham-Lincoln, shaking-hands-with-Jack-Mcnasty, shaking-hands-with-Little-Elvis, shaking-hands-with-Mr.-Happy, shaking-hands-with-Mr.-President, shaking hands with Mr. Winkie, shaking-hands-with-Shorty, shaking-hands-with-the-General, shaking-hands-with-the-guy-that-stood-up-when-I-got-married, shaking-hands-with-the-midget, shaking-hands-with-the-wife's-best-friend, shaking-hands-with-the-unemployed, shaking-hands-with-your-John-Thomas, shaking-hands-with-Yul-Brenner, shaking-the-bottle, sew, sewing-circle, shaking-your-hand-at-the-sky, shaking-your-(own)-maracas, shining the shaft, shoot-between-wind-and-water, shoot-in-the-tail, shoot-skeet, shoot-the-cat, shooting-flies, shanking, share-one's-bed, share a/the sexual embrace, sharpening the beaver-cleaver, sharpening the pencil, she-bop, shellacking-the-shellaleigh, shemping-the-hog, Sherman, Sherman-tank, shift-gears, shifting-gears, shifting-into-first-gear, shine-the-pole, shining-the-helmet, shining-the-pole, shining-the-pork-sword, shag, shagging, shake, shake-hands-with-the-governor, rub-the-tub, shooting-for-the-moon, shooting-putty-at-the-moon, slap-boxing the one-eyed champ, shooting-tadpoles-at-the-moon, short-strokes, shuck-the-corn, shuffle one out, shuffle-the-deck, simmulation, simple-infanticide, sing-with-Rosie, sing-an-aria, single-dingles, skanking the pickle, skeet-shooting, skin-the-bone, skin-the-lizard, slaking-the-bacon, slap-the-little-head, slap-the-hammer, slicking the willy, slide-the-shaft, slimmer, sling-one's-jelly, sling-one's-juice, slinging-the-jelly, slipping-yourself-a-mickey, slog-the-log, slap-the-wapper, slapping-high-fives-with-Yul-Brynner, slapping-it, slapping-pappy, slapping-the-big-nosed-rasta-man, slapping-the-Cap'n, slapping-the-carrot, slapping-the-clown, slapping-the-donkey, slapping-the-fleshgopher, slapping-the-pud, slapping-the-purple-headed-yogurt-pistol, slapping-the-salami, slaughter-of-the-innocent, slaying-the-one-eyed-monster, slam-the-ham, slam-the-spam, slamming-the-ham, slamming-the-hammer, slamming-the-salami, slamming-the-salmon, slamming-the-spam, rub-up, rodding, slopping-the-hogs, sloppy-sign-language, smacking-off, smacking-the-oompa-loompa, smacking-the-salami, smacking-the-sausage, smacking-the-weasel, smacking-your-sister, smash-the-stake, smoking-hooch-with-reagan, smoking the marlboro man, snap, snap-the-rubber, snapping-one-off, snapping-the-carrot, snapping-the-monkey, snapping-the-rubber, snapping-the-twig, snapping-the-whip, snuggle-the-nozzle, soldier's-joy, solitary-vice, solitary-sin, solo-flight, solo-marathon, solo-spit, spackling-the-ceiling, spam-wham, spank-the-bishop, spank-the-carrot, spank-the-hangdown, spank-the-little-boy, spank-the-wank, spank-the-wife's-best-friend, spanking-cheetah, spanking-Elvis, spanking-the-bishop, spanking-the-frank, spanking-the-monkey, spanking-the-salami, spear-chucking, sperm manicure, the, spit-polishing-the-purple-helmet, spit-one-off, spit-the-seeds, spraying-the-spectators, spreading-the-mayo, spunk-the-monk, spunking, solo-sex, squeeze-off, squeezing-the-cheese, squeezing the cream (filling) from the (flesh) twinkie, squeezing-the-creamy-filter, squeezing-the-juice, squeezing-the-lemon, squeezing-the-squid, squeezing-the-weasel, squirt-n-spurt, squirt-one-off, squirt-seed, squirting-the-seed, stacking-the-deck, staff-meeting, stir-the-stew, stirring-the-batter, straddle-the-paddle, strain-the-main-vein, strain-the-vein, straining-the-spaghetti, strangle Kojak., strangle-the-dangle, strangle-the-stogie, strangle-Yoda, squeeze-it-off, stretching-the-muscle, stretching the silly putty, strike-the-pink-match, stroke, stroke-off, stroke-oneself, stroke-the-beef, stroke-the-bloke, stroke-the-dog, stroke-the-lizard, stroke-the-poker, stroke-the-purple-nosed-gusset-ferret, stroke-the-stallion, stroke-the-string, stroke-the-Wookie, stroke-your-ego, strokem-your-scrotum, stroking-it, stroking-off, stroking-the-dog, stroking-the-loaf, stroking-the-lizard, stroking-the-mole, stroking-the-one-eyed-burping-gecko, strangling-the-serpent, stroking-the-satin-headed-serpent, stroking-the-schlong, stroking-the-scoobie, stroking-the-squirmin'-german, stroking-the-twinkie, stroking-the-wiener, stropping-the-beak, stropping-the-mulligan, strum-the-ol'-banjo, strumming-the-banjo, suffocate-the-organ, summon-the-genie, summoning-the-semen-demon, surfing-on-the-Milky-Highway, Swedish, sweep-off, swordfighting, syphon-the-python, taffy-tugger, taffy-pulling-contest, take-a-beating, take-a-load-off-your-mind, take-a-ride-on-the-mean-spanking-machine, take-Captain-Picard-to-warp-speed, stroking-the-poker, take-in-hand, take-matters-into-your-own-hands, take-ol'-stiff-neck-to-the-movies, take-oneself-in-hand, taking-a-nap, taking-a-shake-break, taking-care-of-business, taking-Herman-to-the-circus, taking-matters-into-one's-own-hands, taking-ol'-one-eye-through-the-fly, taking-part-in-population-control, taking-some-time-off, taking-the-Jocelyn-Elders-midterm, taking-the-monster-for-a-one-armed-ride, talking-quietly-to-yourself, tame-the-bald-headed-mouse, tame-the-beef-weasel, tame-the-monster, taming-the-animal, taming-the-shrew, taming the snake, tango-con-mano, tap-dance, tap-dancing, take-down-(by-hand), TCB, teach-our-children-to-fly, teach-your-dog-to-spit, teach-Yule-Brenner-some-respect, tease-the-python, teasing-the-weenie, teasing-the-weasel, tee-off, tenderizing-the-meat, tenderizing-the-tube-steak, tenderizing your piece of pork, test-the-flashlight, testicular-tensile-strength-test, testing old faithful, testing out the magic love wand, testing-the-batteries, testing-the-testicles, that-crazy-hand-jive, there's always a solution at hand, thrap(e), thrapping, throttle-kojak, throttle-the-turkey, throw-the-ball-around, taunting-the-one-eyed-weasel, thump-the-pump, thump-the-pumper, tickle one's cock, tickle-the-pickle, tickling old one-eye, tickling-the-one-eyed-weasel, tickling-the-pickle, tonking, toot-the-flute, tooting-the-horn, torking-the-fork, torking-the-power-rod, torment-the-trouser-trout, torquing-the-taliwacker, torquing-the-wrench, torturing-the-tentacle, toss-him-off, toss-it-off, toss-off, toss-the-boss, tossing-off, tossing-the-caber, tossing-the-ham-javelin, tossing-the-salad, throwing-(one), tossing-the-turkey, tossing-yogurt, train-the-love-porpoise, treating-yourself-right, triborgasmia, trolling-for-flames, tromboning, trouser-olympics, trouser-snake-CPR, trying-to-make-One-Eyed-Willy-puke, trying to pull something off, tug-o-war with the (ol') cyclops, tugging-the-slug, tugging-the-tapioca-tube, tuning-the-fork, tuning-the-horn, turn-the-knob, turning-japanese, turning-on,-tuning-in-and-dropping-out, tussle with your muscle, twang-the-wire, tweak-the-twiddle, tweak-the-twinkie, tweaking-the-twinkie, tossing-the-snag, twist-the-turnip, twisting-the-crank, twisting-the-piston, twisting-the-tool, unclog-the-pipes, unclogging-the-sink, unleash-the-fury, unloading-passengers-from-the-five-car-train, unloading-the-gun, Uncle-Frank, unrolling the turtle neck, unsheathing-the-pork-sword, unsheathing the shlong, uprooting-the-big-mushroom, using the force (on Darth Vader), vanilla puke session, varnish-one's-cane, varnish-the-cane, varnish-the-pole, varnish-the-stick, varnishing-the-flagpole, verifying your manhood, violating-the-hedge-hog, visit-Mary-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters, twirl-the-squirrel, visit-Rosy-Palm-and-her-five-daughters, visiting Merry (or Mary) Palmer, visiting Mother Thumb and her four daughters, visiting-the-notary-public, wack (off), wack-the-weasel, wack-your-squack, wacker, wacking-off, wacking-the-one-eyed-worm, wacking-the-weasel, wacking-the-willie, wacking-Wee-Willie-Wonka, wackomatic, waking-the-dead, walk-the-dog, walking-old-one-eye, walking the bearded one-eyed love dog, walking-the-dog, walking the one eyed dog, walking-the-paraket, walking-the-plank, walking-the-snake, walking-Willie-the-one-eyed-wonder-worm, visit-Mrs.-Palm-and-her-5-daughters, wallop-the-weiner, waltz-with-Willy, wang-off, wank, wank-off, wank-on-it, wank-the-crank, wanker-the-anchor, wanking-(off), wanking-one-eyed-Willy, wanking-the-one-eyed-wonder-worm, wanking-the-scube, wanking-with-the-one-eyed-wonder-weasel, wapping-your-weenie, warming-up-the-altar-boys'-dinner, wash-the-cosh, washing-the-goose's-neck, washing-the-hog, washing-the-lighthouse, washing-the-meat, waste-a-short-time, waste-time, wasting-babies, watch-the-eyelid-movies, wallop-the-sausage, waving-the-magic-wand, wax-the-beam, wax-the-bean, wax-the-board, wax-the-Buick, wax-the-candle-stick, wax-the-carrot, wax-the-dolphin, wax-the-womb-broom, waxing-the-car, waxing-the-carrot, waxing the pole, waxing-the-surfboard, waxing-the-t-bird, wearing-a-fat-guys-slacks, whack, whack-it, whack-little-Mac, whack-off, whack-the-bishop, whack-the-pud, whack-the-yak, whack-your-Magic-Johnson, whacking-it, wave-the-wand, whacking the one-eyed worm, whacking-the-weasel, whacking-Wee-Willie-Winkie, whacking-willy, whacking your pud, whank, whank-off, whank-pit, whipping the snot out of one-eyed goofy, whiffing-an-easy-fairway-shot, whip-it, whip-off, whip-the-cat, whip-the-devil, whip-the-dripper, whip-the-dummy, whip-the-weenie, whip-the-wire, whip-the-worm, whipping the pony, whipping the rat, Willie-and-the-hand-jive, Willy Wonkin', winding-the-jack-in-the-box, winding-the-Wurlitzer, windsurf-on-Mount-Baldy, whipping-the-stiff, whipping-the-weasel, whipping-the-wire, whipping up some baby batter, whipping-up-some-sour-cream, whipping-Willy-the-one-eyed-wonder-worm, whipping-your-Willy, white-water wristing, whittle-the-wood, whittling-Dixie, whittling-the-stick, whiz-the-jizzum, whizzing-jism, whizzing-the-jism, whizzing the jizzum, wienering, wiggling-the-worm, whipping-dripping, whipping-off, whipping-the-bishop, whipping-the-dripper, whipping-the-dummy, whipping-the-one-eyed-trouser-snake, whacking-off, wobbling my woodle, winning a taffy-pulling contest, wonk-your-conker, work (oneself) off, workin'-the-jerkin, working-in-the-garden, working-off, working-off-a-batch, working-out-a-stiff-joint, working-your-willy, worshiping-the-finger-prince, worshiping-the-fist-prince, worshipping the white god of seed, wrench-off, wrestle-the-bald-headed-champion, wrestle-the-cyclops, wrestling-the-bald(-headed)-champion, wrestling-the-cyclops, wrestling-the-eel, wrestling-the-one-eyed-monster, wrestling-the-purple-headed-warrior, wrestling the snake, wrestling-with-the-bald(-headed)-champ, wrestling-with-the-blue-veined-custard-chucker, wring-the-rattlesnake, wringing-out-the-rope, wrist-aerobics, wrist-job, wrist-off, wristing, yang-the-wang, yank, yank-off, yank-the-crank, yank-the-dork, yank-the-doodle, yank-the-plank, yank-the-shlong, yank-the-strap, yank-the-wang, yank-the-Yoda, yank-the-yak, yank-the-yam, yank-your-strap, yank-your-wank, yank-yourself-(off), Yankee-your-Wankee, yanking the penal cord, yanking-the-plank, wringing (the cheesy bell), yanking, yanking-off, yanking-the-crank, yucking-your-choad, yanking-the-yoyo,

See Also: balls deep into your fist, celebrating Palm Sunday, a date with Manuela, a date with Senorita Mano, a visit from Mother Fist, cranking the corona, dating Thumbalina and her four sisters, dating Manuella, dong flogging, fanny fumbling, firing off a round, dating the Palm sisters, fist flick, flogging your dumber brother, hand solo, handling the hard on, knuckle shuffle, onanera, one-eye target practice, five finger exercise(s), jack hammering, pud wrestling, pud-pulling, ham-boning, monkey-slapping, monkey-spanking, rod-walloping, sailors' joy, slaking the bacon, stretching the muscle, taming goliath, squirt-n-spurt, tossing off, visit Mary Thumb and her four daughters, Willie and the hand jive, worshiping the finger prince, worshiping the fist prince, wringing (it), yanking, flog it, visit Rosy Palm and her five daughters, visiting Merry Palmer, visiting the notary public, 5-digit disco, flog the infidel, flogging the mule, flogging the poodle, flogging the frog, flogging the hog, yank the wang, yank the shlong, Yankee your Wankee, yanking the yoyo, yank the strap, yank the plank, yank the yam, yanking the plank, yanking the crank, yucking your choad, wringing out the rope, wristing, wrist aerobics, yank the crank, yank the Yoda, yank the dork, yank the doodle, yank the yak, working off a batch, worshiping the white god of seed, wrestling the bald(-headed) champion, wrestle the bald-headed champion, wrestling the one-eyed monster, wrestling the cyclops, wrestle the cyclops, wrestling the eel, wrestling with the blue-veined custard chucker, wrestling the purple headed warrior, wrestling with the bald(-headed) champ, wringing the cheesy bell, winding the jack in the box, winding the Wurlitzer, windsurf on Mount Baldy, wonk the conker, wonk your conker, wonking the donk, wonking the conker, workin' the jerkin, working your willy, working out a stiff joint, wacking off, wacking the willie, wacking the one-eyed worm, wacking Wee Willie Wonka, wacking the weasel, walking the dog, walking the plank, walk the dog, walking old one-eye, waltz with Willy, walking the snake, walking Willie the one eyed wonder worm, wanker the anchor, wanking with the one-eyed wonder weasel, wanking the one-eyed wonder worm, wanking one-eyed Willy, wanking the scube, wapping your weenie, wank the crank, warming up the altar boys' dinner, wash the cosh, washing the hog, washing the goose's neck, washing the lighthouse, washing the meat, wave the wand, waxing the surfboard, wax the womb-broom, wax the Buick, waxing the t-bird, wax the dolphin, waxing the car, waxing the carrot, wax the carrot, wearing a fat guys slacks, whack little Mac, whacking willy,