Dictionaries:
Sexual DictionaryDictionary of the F-Word

masturbation-male:

SYNONYMS:
Although most of the synonyms listed below are written exactly as I found them, in some cases I standardized the use of THE ( skin-the-bone ) in replacement of YOUR or ONE'S ( skin your bone , skin one's bone ) Verb vs. verbal noun.
5-digit-disco
a date with Manuel
a-date-with-Manuela
a-date-with-Senorita-Mano
a-visit-from-Mother-Fist
accosting-the-Oscar-Meyer
activating-cruise-control
addressing-Mr.-Palmer
adjusting-your-set
ambidexterity
answer-the-bone-a-phone
applying-for-a-fishing-liscence
applying-the-hand-brake
arm-aerobics
arm-breaker
armswing
armswinging
arthur
articulate-the-archdeacon
assault-on-a-friendly-weapon
attacking-the-one-eyed-purple-headed-warrior
auditioning-the-hand-puppet
bachelor's-delight
bachelor's-fare
backstroke-roulette
baiting the hook
ball-off
balling-off
balls-deep-into-your-fist
bananas-and-cream
bang-the-banjo
bang-the-bishop
bang-the-wanger
banging-the-drum
bank-with-Barclays
Barclay's-bank
bash-the-bishop
bashing-the-bishop
bashing-the-candle
bashing-the-dummy
bat-off
batting-practice
battling-the-purple-helmeted-warrior
be-your-own-best-friend
beat
beat-it
beat-meat
beat-off
beat-one's-little-brother
beat-Pete
beat-the-bald-headed-bandit
beat-the-bishop
beat-the-dork
beat-the-dummy
beat-the-goose
beat-the-hog
beat-the-meat
beat-the-pud
beat-the-pup
beat-the-tom-tom
beat-your-meat-like-it-owes-you-money
beating-it-with-a-smile-on-your-face
beating-your-meat-on-the-toilet-seat
beating-off
beating-the-bait
beating-the-bed-flute
beating-the-bishop
beating-the-bologna
beating-the-boner
beating-the-meat
beating-the-old-man
beating-the-piss-outta-my-best-friend
beating-the-pud
beating-the-snake
beating-the-stick
beef-stroke-it-off
being your own best-friend
bell-polishing
bequeath-your-genes
best orgasm you'll ever get , the
biffing-off
big-date-with-Rosy-Palms
big-stroke-time
bishoprage
blanket-drill
bleed-the-goose
bleed-the-lizard
bleed-the-weed
bloating-the-vein
blooch
blow-off
blowing your load
blowing-your-own-horn
bludgeon-the-beefsteak
blue-vein-shuffle
bob
bob-the-bologna
bobbing-the-boloney
body-rub
boff
boffer
boffing
bollock-service
bologna-bop
bombing-the-German-helmet
bop
bop-the-baloney
bopping-the-bishop
bopping-the-bologna
bopping-Richard
bopping-the-bonzo
box-the-Jesuit-(and-get-cockroaches)
boxing-the-bald-champ
boxing-the-bald-headed-clown
boxing-the-ballsack
boxing-the-Bozak
boxing-the-clown
boxing-with-Richard
brandle
break-one-off
bring-down-(by-hand)
bring-off-by-hand
bring-up-by-hand
buck-the-bone
bucking-it
buff-the-dog
buff-the-mushroom
buff-the-pylon
buffing (the magic lamp)
buffing-the-bishop
buffing-the-banana
buffing-the-helmet
buffing-the-rifle
buffing-the-wood
buggering-the-hand
burp-the-baldman
burp-the-worm
burping-the-baby
burping-the-worm
bust-a-nut
buttering-the-corn
buttering-the-muffin
cabareting
calling-all-cum
calling-down-for-more-mayo
caning-the-vandal
capturing-the-bishop
carrying-weight
cast off
catch-up-with-Popeye
catching-a-case-of-whackinitis
celebrating-Palm-Sunday
changing-your-oil
charge-the-rod
charm-the-cobra
charm-the-serpent
charming-the-snake
cheat-the-meat
check-the-oil
checking-for-testicular-cancer
cheesing-off
chicken-grabbing
chicken-milking
chipping-wood
choke-hold
choke-the-bad-guy
choke-the-chicken
choke-the-chook
choke-the-gopher
choking-Charlie-'till-he-throws-up
choking-Kojak
choking-the-bald-guy-until-he-pukes
choking-the-chipmunk
choking-the-sheriff-and-waiting-for-the-posse-to-come
chong-your-schlong
chuff
churn
churn butter
churn-the-butter
churning-butter
churning-the-butter
circle-jerk
clamming-the-engram
clamping-the-pipe
clap-with-one-hand
clean-the-pipe(s)
cleaning-the-rifle
cleaning-the-storm-drains
clear-the-custard
clearing-the-snorkel
climbing-the-tree
climbing-Mount-Baldy
clobbering-the-kleenex
closet-frisbee
closing-the-deal
clubbing-eddy
clubbing-the-clam
coating-prince-william-sound-with-love-oil
cock-the-cannon
cock-your-shotgun
colonel-sanders-heimleich-maneuver
color-in-the-coloring-book
come-into-your-own
come-the-turkey
comforting-Gary-Coleman
coming-into-your-own
coming-one's-mutton
coming-to-grips-with-yourself
conking-the-cardinal
consult-Dr.-Jerkoff
converse-with-Harry-Palm
cooking-the-cream-of-cock
corralling-the-tadpoles
couch-hockey-for-one
court-Madam-Knuckle
crab-tease
crack-off-a-batch
cracking-nuts
cracking-off
cracking-the-bat
crank
crank-the-cream
crank-the-cream-separator
crank-the-love-pump
crank-the-monkey
crank-the-shaft
crank-the-shank
cranking-for-cum
cranking-the-corona
cream-your-corn
creamed-beef
creaming-the-cheese
create-an-arch
crimping-the-wire
crown-the-king
cuddling-the-kielbasa
cuff-the-carrot
cuff-the-dummy
cuff-the-meat
cuff-the-puppy
culture-the-American-Blood-Sausage
cum-the-scum
Custer's-last-stand
dance-with-Johnnie-One-eye
dancing-with-myself
dancing-with-the-captain
dash-one's-doodle
date Mother Palm and her five daughters
date-Miss-Michigan
date-Palmala-Handerson
dating-Manuella
dating-Rosie-Palm-and-her-five-sisters
dating-the-Palm-sisters
dating-Thumbalina-and-her-four-sisters
dealing
decongesting-the-weasel
defrosting-the-fridge
devil's-handshake
dicky-whacking
diddle
diddling
diddling-the-dinky
digitally-oscillating-the-penis
dilly-with-the-willy
dinging-the-dong
dinky-the-slinky
discipline-your-soldier
disciplining-the-primate
dishonorable-discharge
disobey-the-Pope
disseminating
diurnal-pollution
do-a-dry-waltz-with-oneself
do-it-yourself
do-the-dew
do-the-Han-Solo
do-the-wet-n-stinky
do-yourself-off
docking-in-shuttle-bay-5
doddle-whacking
doing-a-hand-job
doing-a-little-soft-shoe
doing-battle-with-the-purple-helmeted-warrior-of-love
doing-handiwork
doing-hard-time-in-the-hand-slammer
doing-it-your-way
doing-the-five-knuckle-chuckle
doing-the-five-knuckle-chuckle on the old piss pipe
doing-the-five-knuckle-chuckle on the old piss pump
doing the five-knuckle shuffle
doing-the-five-knuckle-shuffle on the old piss pipe
doing-the-five-knuckle-shuffle on the old piss pump
doing-the-hand-jive
doing-the-human-version-of-autoexec.bat
doing-the-janitor-thing
doing-the-knuckle-shuffle-on-the-ol'-piss-pump
doing-the-pork-sword-jiggle
doing-the-solitary-rhumba
doing-the-white-knuckler
doing-your-own-thing
dollop-the-weener
dong-flogging
doodle-the-noodle
double-jacking
downing-at-the-club-(for-members-only)
drain-Charle's-Dickens
drain-the-vein
drain-the-dragon
draining-the-monster
draining-the-poisons-from-the-building
draw-on-a-length
drilling-for-oil-in-your-own-backyard
driving-the-skin-bus
dropping-a-line
dropping-stomach-pancakes
dry-firing-the-musket
dry-humping-the-ottoman
dual-masturbation
dundering-the-devil
dunk-the-dolphin
dusting-the-old-trophy
educating-Peter
electing-the-president
empty-the-cannon
encapsulate-your-probe
engaging-in-internal-revenue-service
engaging-in-safe-sex
enjoying-yourself
erupting-the-volcano
erupting-Vesuvius
evicting-the-testicular-squatters
excercise-your-rights
experiencing-men-o-paws
express-a-secret-vice
express-yourself-(manually)
faxing-Jimmy-Dean
faxing-the-pope
feed-the-ducks
feed-the-fist
feed-the-spunk-o-meter
feed-the-stick
feeding-the-chooks
feel-in-one's-pocket-for-one's-big-hairy-rocket
fetch-metal
fetch-mettle
fidget-the-midget
fidget-with-the-digit
fight-the-champ
fight-the-turkey
file-the-fun-rod
filling-up-the-belly-button-well
fire-the-hand-cannon
fire-the-wobbly-warhead
fire-your-wad
firing-off-a-round
firing-the-flesh-musket
firing-the-surgeon-general
firm-the-worm
first you grab it by the head then you beat-it till it's dead
fishing-for-trouser-trout
fishing-for-zipper-trout
fist-flick
fist-fuck
fist-fucking
fist-fucking-the-piss-pump
fist-it-off
fist-kebabing-101
fist-of-fury
fist-the-mister
fisting-the-mister
five-against-one
five-against-Willy
five-finger-boogie-on-the-blue-vein
five-finger discount
five-finger-exercise(s)
five-finger-knuckle-shuffle
five-finger-lingo
five-finger-solo
five-fingers-against-one-penis
five-knuckle chuckle
five-knuckle olympics
five-knuckle shuffle
five-knuckle shuffle on the old piss pump
five-knuckle shuffle on the piss pump
five-on-one
fives
fixing the plumbing
flapping-takkie
flaying-the-emperor
flex-one's-sex
flexing Russell the one-eyed love-muscle
flick-the-BIC
flick-on-over-the-thumb
flip-it-around
flip-it-off
flip-off
flip-oneself-off
flipping-the-bishop
flog
flog-(oneself)
flog-a-dead-horse
flog-a-willing-horse
flog-it
flog-the-bishop
flog-the-dog
flog-the-dolphin
flog-the-dong
flog-the-donkey
flog-the-dummy
flog-the-goose
flog-the-hog
flog-the-infidel
flog-the-lizard
flog-the-log
flog-the-meat
flog-the-mutton
flog-the-old-whipping-boy
flog-the-pork
flog-the-pup
flog-the-sausage
flog-the-whipping-boy
flogging the bishop
flogging-the-dog
flogging-the-dolphin
flogging-the-dong
flogging the dummy
flogging-the-frog
flogging-the-hog
flogging-the-mule
flogging the old dog
flogging-the-poodle
flogging-the-salami
flogging-your-dumber-brother
flogging your log
flogging-your-pride
flong-the-dong
flopping-beef
flub-the-dub
flushing babies
flute-solo
fly-fishing
fondling-the-fig
freeing-Willy
frig
frig-off
frig-oneself
frigging
frigging-the-love-muscle
friggit
friggle
frosting-the-pastries
fuck-fist
fuck-the-fist
fuck-your-fist
fuck-off
fuck-one's-fist
fuck-Mary-Fist
fuck-palmala
fucking Miss Michigan
gaining an inch
gallop-the-antelope
gallop-the-goose
gallop-the-maggot
gallop-the-old-lizard
galloping-the-lizard
genital-stimulation-via-phalangetic-motion
genitalic-stimulation-via-phallengetic-motion
get-gravel-for-the-goose
get-one's-nuts-off
get-oneself-off
get-some-self
get-some-trim
get-to-know-yourself
get to the peak of your peker
getting-a-date-with-slick-mittens
getting-a-grip-on-things
getting-a-hold-of-yourself
getting-a-little-off-hand
getting-a-stiffy
getting-chafed
getting gissy with the goo
getting-gnarly-with-the-knudster
getting-in-touch-with-your-manhood
getting-in-touch-with-yourself
getting jiggy (or jizzy) with it
getting-ones-nuts-off
getting-stripped-of-your-grammy
getting-the-german-soldier-marching
getting-the-glue-stick
getting-to-know-yourself
getting-to-know-yourself-personally-in-the-biblical-sense
getting-your-caps-peeled
getting-your-palm-read (or red)
getting-your-palm-read-by-Mister-Softee (or Softy)
getting-your-pole-varnished
gherkin-jerking
gilding-the-lily
give-it-a-one-gun-salute
give-oneself-a-handjob
give-oneself-a-low-five
giving flipper a backrub
giving-it-a-tug
giving-the-general-a-five-finger-salute
giving the pope a stroke
giving-Yul-Brenner-the-high-five
glazing-the-knuckle
gluing-the-lady's-eye-shut
go-a-couple-rounds-with-the-champ(ion)
go-back-to-the-wig-wam-and-beat-the-tom-tom
go-on-a-hand-diet
go-to-war-with-yourself
going-a-couple-of-rounds-with-Ol'-Josh
going-cabareting
going-eye-to-eye-with-Johnny-Hung
going-on-a-date-with-Handrea
going-on-a-date-with-Palmela
going-on-a-date-with-Rosey-Palm-and-the-five-daughters
going-blind
going-on-Peewee's-little-adventure
going-on-the-blow
going-on-the-dole
going-out-with-Mother-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters
going surfing on mount baldy
going with Ms. Thumb & her four daughters
got a date with Rosie Palm(er)
grab-the-flab
grappling-the-gorilla
grasping at the opportunity
grease-the-goofy
greasing-the-flagpole
greasing-the-pipe
greasing-your-bone
grind-off
grinding-the-goo-shooter
grip-it
grip-the-gorilla
grip-the-tip
gripping-Flipper
gripping-the-pencil
growing a tree then chopping it down
growing-hair-on-the-palms
gushing-the-geyser
hack-off
hack-the-hog
hack-the-mack
hair-in-hand
ham-boning
ham-shank
Han-Solo
handball
hand-fuck
hand-gallop
hand-game
hand-gig
hand-head
hand-jig
hand-jive
hand-job
hand-labor
hand-relief
hand-shandy
hand-solo
hand-to-gland-combat
hand-work
handful-of-pleasure,-a
handle
handling the hard-on
hands-on-training
handy-work
hanging-five
hanging-the-old-man
hard-labor
haul-your-own-ashes
have-a-date-with-a-handkerchief
have-a-wank
have-one-off-the-wrist
having-a-ball
having-a-ball ... well, two actually
having-a-conversation-with-the-one-eyed-trouser-snake
having-a-date-with-Fisty-Palmer
having-a-date-with-Rosie-Palm-and-her-five-sisters
having a date with the five-fingered widow
having-a-five-knuckle-shuffle
having-a-ham-shank
having-a-J.-Arthur
having-a-one-night-stand-with-yourself
having-a-roy
having-a-sherman
having a staff-meeting
having-a-tug
having-a-tug-of-war-with-the-cyclops
having-a-whack-attack
having an affair with digits
having-an-arm-wrestle-with-your-one-eyed-vessel
having an intelligent conversation with Dick
having an oscar-meyer moment
having-dinner
having-it-off
having-one-off-the-wrist
having-sex-with-someone-you-love
helping-the-python-shed-its-skin
helping Tom Sawyer white-wash the fence
herkin'-the-gherkin
hit-on-Rosy-Palm
hit-the-ham
hitchhike-under-the-big-top
hitchhiking-to-heaven
hitchhiking-underneath-the-big-top
hold-the-bold
holding-the-sausage-hostage
holding-your-sausage-hostage
holding-my-own
holding-on-to-a-family-heirloom
hone-the-bone
hone the cone
honking-Bobo
hotdog-a-rama
hot-rod-it
housebreaking-the-cat
hug-the-hog
hump-the-horn
hump-the-hose
hump-your-fist
humping-air
humping-the-hose
humping the old hand
hurting-Burt-until-he-squirts
husk-it
ignite-the-lightsaber
in-hand
infanticide
inflating the zepplin
installing-a-burglar-alarm
invading-Poland
ironing-some-wrinkles
jack-and-jill-off-party
jack-hammer
jack-hammering
jack-off
jack-off-party
jack-off-session
jack-the-beanstalk
jack-the-corn
jack-the-joystick
jack-the-sack
jack-your-jizz
jack-yourself
jacking (off)
jacking-the-beanstalk
jag-off
jam-the-joystick
jazz-oneself
jazzing yourself
jeff-off
jerk
jerk-Jamby
jerk-jelly
jerk-job
jerk-off
jerk-the-gherkin
jerk-the-joint
jerk-the-johnson
jerk-the-mutton
jerk-the-rope
jerk-the-Turk
jerk-the-turkey
jerk-up
jerk-your-jewels
jerk-yourself-a-soda
jerkin's-hand-lotion
jerking-jamby
jerking-off
jerking the cherkin
jerking-the-gherkin
jerking-the-noodle
jerking-the-turkey
jerking-the-wheel
jiggle-the-jewelry
jiggling the branch to shake the nuts loose
jiggling-the-dice
jiggling the handle
jiggling-your-cockanballs
jimmying-the-joey
jiring-one's-wad
jizzlobbing
J/O (JO / j.o.)
J/O-scene
Jodrell-Bank
jog-off
jollification
juggling-the-coullions
juice-the-fruit
just hold it right there!
just-jerkin'-it
keep-a-date-with-bobby-palm-and-his-five-brother
keep-down-the-census
keep-the-census-down
kick-the-gong-around
kicking-seamen
killing-45-seconds
killing-it
knead-your-dough
kneading-the-knockwurst
knitting
knob
knob-polishing
knob-shining
knock-on-wood
knuckle-shuffle
knuckle-shuffle-on-the-ol'-piss-pump
knock-the-top-off
knuckling-the-bone
lark
lathering the latin love lance
launching-the-hand-shuttle
launching-the-head-of-a-world-cup-golfer
launching-the-tadpoles
leaking-the-main-drain
Levy-and-Frank
lightening-the-load
lighting-the-candle
lighting-the-pipe
little-pinky-hit-the-slinky
little-southern-romance
loading-the-cannon
local
looking-askance
looking-for-ticks
lope-the-mule
loves labors lost
loving-the-muppet
loving-thy-self
lube-the-cord
lubing-the-tube
lubricating the love-stick
lubricating the piston
M-and-M
maintaining-a-holding-pattern
make-a-bald-man-cry
make-a-milkshake
make-fist-kabobs
make-love-to-ones-fist
make-love-with-Mother-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters
make-love-with-Rosy-Palm-and-her-five-sisters
make-silly-with-the-Willy
make the bald-man puke
making-a-banana-spit
making-a-banana-split
making-a-deposit in the toilet bank of america
making-a-foreskin-cone
making a knuckle hot-dog
making-a-six-fist
making-duck-butter
making-friends-with-Big-Ed
making-instant-pudding
making-love-with-Miss-Right
making mayo
making-nut-butter
making-oyster-soup
making-the-bald-man-cry
making-the-scene-with-the-magazine
making-vanilla-jism-shakes
making-yogurt
making-yourself-at-home
mangling-the-midget
manipulating-the-mango
manning-the-cannon
manning-the-cockpit
manual-exercise(s)
manual-gratification
manual-job
manual-labor
manual-override
manual-persuasion
manual-pollution
manual-preference
manual-release
manual-sex
manual-titillation
manually-assisted-wet-dream
manustupration
manuxorate
masonic-secret-self-handshake
massage-the-fireman's-neck
massage-the-one-eyed-monk
massage-your-muscle
massage-your-purple-headed-warrior
master-bacon
maximize-your-potency
measuring the circumference of your penis
measuring-for-condoms
meet-Mrs.-Palmer-and-her-five-daughters
meet-your-right-hand-man
meeting-Mary-Palm-and-her-five-sisters
meeting-Rosie-Hancock
meeting-with-Mother-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters
messing-with-Moby
milk
milk it
milk-the-chicken
milk-the-lizard
milk-the-maggot
milking-one's-self
milking-the-bull
milking-the-cow
milking-the-moose
milking-the-musket
milking-the-weasel
milkywaying
minding-my-own-business
Miss-Fist
mix-up-a-batch
molesting-the-mole
monkey-slapping
monkey-spanking
mount-a-corporal-and-four
moving-into-a-one-bedroom-apartment
much-goo-about-nothing
mugging the kojak doll
mule-breeding
murder-the-Bishop
mustard-on-the-burger
nerking-the-throbber
night-club
ngocok
noiseless hobby
oiling-the-glove
oiling-the-pogo-stick
Onan's-Olympics
Onan up
onanera
one-eye-target-practice
one-gun-salute
one-hand-clapping
one-handed-clapping
one-legged-race
one man band
one-man-show
one-man-tug-o-war
one-off-the-wrist
one-stick-drum-improvisation
one-two
oscillating-the-Oscar-Meyer
owner operator
pack-the-palm
packaging-the-ol'-sausage
packing-the-palm
paddle-the-pickle
paddling my pork
paddling-the-peter
paddling-the-pickle
paddling-the-robin
paint-the-ceiling
painting-the-pickle
painting-the-walls
palm-it
Palmala-Handerson
palming-the-calm
parading the troops (corporal and five privates)
passing-math
pat-me-muller
pat-the-Robertson
patting the pooter
pause-that-refreshes,-the
paw-paw-tricks
peeling-the-banana
peeling-the-carrot
peeling-some-chilies
performing-a-self-test
performing-an-organ-solo
performing-diagnostics-on-your-mantool
perm-the-poodle
petting-the-lizard
petting the monkey
petting-the-snake
petting-the-Wookie
petting-your-dog
phoning-the-czar
pickle dancing
piddle-the-pud
pinch-the-cat
pink-piston-practice
pipping-the-pumpkin
pitch-a-knuckle-ball
play-a-flute-solo-on-one's-meat-whistle
play-billiards
play-pocket-billiards
play-pocket-pool
play-solitaire
play-the-bones
play-the-male-organ
play-the-piss-pipe
play-the-skin-flute
play-with-oneself
play with (your) Willy Wanker
playing-a-bass-solo
playing-a-little-five-on-one
playing-a-little-game-of-five-on-one
playing-a-one-stringed-guitar
playing-a-solo-on-the-meat-whistle
playing-chopsticks
playing five-against-one
playing-in-a-one-man-show
playing one arm bandit
playing one eyed bandit
playing-peek-a-boo-(with-Mr.-Johnson)
playing-pocket-pinball
playing-pocket-pool
playing rumple foreshin
playing-soapy-Peter
playing-solitaire
playing-tag-with-the-pink-torpedo
playing-the-fiddle
playing-the-flesh-flute
playing-the-flesh-trombone
playing-the-hairy-banjo
playing-the-man-flute
playing-the-one-stringed-melody
playing-the-pink-oboe
playing-the-skin-flute
playing-tug-o-war-with-the-cyclops
playing-uno
playing-with-dick
playing-with-it
playing with my yo yo
playing-with-oneself
playing-with-Susi-Palmer-and-her-five-friends
playing-with-the-pink-Power-Ranger
playing-with-the-spitting-llama
playing-with-the-turtle
playing with the upright organ
playing-with-your-big-Alien
playing with your 6 th finger
playing-Yahtzee
please-the-pisser
pleasing-the-pisser
pleasing the turtle
plucking-the-chicken
plunking-the-twanger
pocket-billiards
pocket-pinball
pocket-polka
pocket-pool
pocket-waltz
point-one's-social-finger
pole-vaulting
polish-the-bayonet
polish-the-chrome-dome
polish-the-horn
polish-the-knob
polish-the-log
polish-the-Oscar
polish-the-pole
polish-the-shooter
polish-the-viper
polishing-Charlie-Brown
polishing-Percy-in-your-palm
polishing-the-beak
polishing the cane
polishing-the-family-jewels
polishing-the-helmet
polishing-the-night-stick
polishing-the-pud
polishing-the-rocket
polishing-the-silver
polishing-the-sword
pollute
popping-a-nut
popping-the-cork
popping-the-purple-pimple
popping-the-zit
Portuguese pump(ing)
posh-wank
pound-it
pound-off
pound-the-bobo
pound-the-flounder
pound-the-meat
pound-the-peenie
pound-the-pork
pound-the-pud
pounding-off
pounding-the-bald-headed-moose
pounding-the-flounder
pounding the pepperoni
pounding-the-pud
pounding-the-pudding
pounding your pud
pow-wow-with-the-one-eyed-Redskin
practicing your mantra
practising
preparing-the-carrot
prime-it
prime-the-pump
prime-the-womb-cannon
priming-the-pump
prodding-the-half-cooked-pastrami
prompt-the-porpoise
prostate-maintenance
prune-the-fifth-limb
pub-the-dub
pud-pulling
pud-wrestling
pudwhacking
puff-the-one-eyed-dragon
pull it off
pull-off
pull-one-off
pull-one's-dong
pull-one's-joint
pull-one's-pud
pull-one's-wang
pull-oneself-off
pull-putz
pull-some-lumber
pull the ducks neck
pull-the-joint
pull-the-peter
pull-the-pope
pull-the-pork
pull-the-pudding
pull-the-pud
pull-the-pin
pull-the-pole
pull-the-root
pull-the-taffy
pull-the-wire
pull-wire
pull-your-prick
pulling-a-solo-session
pulling-on-Peter
pulling-off
pulling-rank
pulling-rank on private one-eye
pulling-the-bologna-pony
pulling the bull
pulling-the-carrot
pulling-the-colonel-sanders-heimleich-manuever
pulling-the-five-knuckle-shuffle
pulling-the-cord
pulling-the-goalie
pulling-the-handbrake
pulling-the-mule
pulling-the-pole
pulling-the-pope
pulling-the-pud
pulling-the-putz
pulling-the-taffy
pulling-the-weed
pulling-the-wire
pulling-your-prick
pulling-your-goalie
pulling-your-own-leg
pummel-the-love-truncheon
pummeling-the-priest
pump-off
pump-oneself-off
pump-one's-pickle
pump-ship
pump-the-monkey
pump-the-python
pumping-cream
pumping-for-pleasure
pumping-for-power
pumping-the-electric-goo-gun
pumping-the-gas-at-the-self-service-island
pumping-the-stump
punchin'-the-munchkin
punching-the-clown
punching-the-puppet
punish-Percy-in-the-palm
punish-the-Harlequin
punishing-the-pope
pushing-the-daisy-and-make-it-cum
qualifying-in-the-testicular-time-trial
R2-your-D2
raise-the-flag
raising-Lazarus-from-the-dead
raising-the-mainsail
rake-your-meat
ram-the-ham
rank
rapid-one-arm-pull-ups
raping your hand
ravage-the-innocent
reading-poetry
reading-with-one-hand
relieve-oneself
relieving oneself
relieving-tension
returning-to-sender
ride-the-great-white-knuckler
riding-the-great-white-knuckler
ringing-for-the-elevator
rise and fall of Peter the Great, the
roasting-chestnuts
rod-walloping
rodgering
rodding
rogering
rolling-your-own
rolling-the-fleshy-blunt
Roman-helmet-rumba
romancing-Lady-Five-Fingers
romancing-the-bone
Romeo-and-himself
ropin' the long horn
roping-the-pony
roping-the-pope
roughing-up-the-suspect
rowing-the-boat
rub
rub-it-off
rub-off
rub-off-by-hand
rub-one-out
rub one's...
rub oneself
rub-the-knob
rub-the-(little)-head
rub-the-magic-lamp
rub-the-radish
rub-the-tub
rub-up
rubbing one off
rubbing-one-out
rubbing-the-magic-one-eyed-wonder-weasel
rubbing-the-pink-eraser
rubbing-the-rod
run-a-batch
run-one's-hand-up-the-flagpole
run-off-by-hand
running a batch (off by hand)
running-off-a-batch-by-hand
running-Peter-through-two-a-days
running-the-cheeta
running-the-100-yard-dash
running-the-whack-a-thon
sacrificing-sperm-to-the-god-of-lonely-nights
sailors'-joy
salute-the-sailor
saluting Captain Winky
saluting the commander
saluting the general
sanding-the-banister
sanding the woody
sanding-wood
schnauzer-shuffleboard
schplitzing-the-schmeckel
scouring-the-tower-of-power
scraping-the-horn
screw-off
se-branler
se-crosser
se-faire-les-cinq-doigts-de-la-main
se-passer-un-poignet
secret-handshake
secret-indulgence
secret-sin
secret-vice
see-Madam(e)-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters
self-inflicted-intercourse
self-induced-penile-regurgitation
serta-solo
setting-off-a-depth-charge
sew
sewing-circle
shag
shagging
shake
shake-hands-with-the-governor
shake-hands-with-the-wife's-best-friend
shake-it-up
shake-the-snake
shake-the-weasel
shaking-hands-with-Abraham-Lincoln
shaking-hands-with-Jack-Mcnasty
shaking-hands-with-Little-Elvis
shaking-hands-with-Mr.-Happy
shaking-hands-with-Mr.-President
shaking hands with Mr. Winkie
shaking-hands-with-Shorty
shaking-hands-with-the-General
shaking-hands-with-the-guy-that-stood-up-when-I-got-married
shaking-hands-with-the-midget
shaking-hands-with-the-wife's-best-friend
shaking-hands-with-the-unemployed
shaking-hands-with-your-John-Thomas
shaking-hands-with-Yul-Brenner
shaking-the-bottle
shaking-the-dice
shaking the dew off the water lily
shaking-the-hand-of-the-self-employed
shaking-the-hand-of-the-unemployed
shaking-the-sauce
shaking-the-snake
shaking-the-sausage
shaking-your-fist-at-the-sky
shaking-your-hand-at-the-sky
shaking-your-(own)-maracas
shanking
share-one's-bed
share a/the sexual-embrace
sharpening the beaver-cleaver
sharpening the pencil
she-bop
shellacking-the-shellaleigh
shemping-the-hog
Sherman
Sherman-tank
shift-gears
shifting-gears
shifting-into-first-gear
shine-the-pole
shining-the-helmet
shining-the-pole
shining-the-pork-sword
shining the shaft
shoot-between-wind-and-water
shoot-in-the-tail
shoot-skeet
shoot-the-cat
shooting-flies
shooting-for-the-moon
shooting-putty-at-the-moon
shooting-tadpoles-at-the-moon
short-strokes
shuck-the-corn
shuffle one out
shuffle-the-deck
simmulation
simple-infanticide
sing-with-Rosie
sing-an-aria
single-dingles
skanking the pickle
skeet-shooting
skin-the-bone
skin-the-lizard
slaking-the-bacon
slam-the-ham
slam-the-spam
slamming-the-ham
slamming-the-hammer
slamming-the-salami
slamming-the-salmon
slamming-the-spam
slap-boxing the one-eyed champ
slap-the-hammer
slap-the-little-head
slap-the-wapper
slapping-high-fives-with-Yul-Brynner
slapping-it
slapping-pappy
slapping-the-big-nosed-rasta-man
slapping-the-Cap'n
slapping-the-carrot
slapping-the-clown
slapping-the-donkey
slapping-the-fleshgopher
slapping-the-pud
slapping-the-purple-headed-yogurt-pistol
slapping-the-salami
slaughter-of-the-innocent
slaying-the-one-eyed-monster
slicking the willy
slide-the-shaft
slimmer
sling-one's-jelly
sling-one's-juice
slinging-the-jelly
slipping-yourself-a-mickey
slog-the-log
slopping-the-hogs
sloppy-sign-language
smacking-off
smacking-the-oompa-loompa
smacking-the-salami
smacking-the-sausage
smacking-the-weasel
smacking-your-sister
smash-the-stake
smoking-hooch-with-reagan
smoking the marlboro man
snap
snap-the-rubber
snapping-one-off
snapping-the-carrot
snapping-the-monkey
snapping-the-rubber
snapping-the-twig
snapping-the-whip
snuggle-the-nozzle
soldier's-joy
solitary-vice
solitary-sin
solo-flight
solo-marathon
solo-sex
solo-spit
spackling-the-ceiling
spam-wham
spank-the-bishop
spank-the-carrot
spank-the-hangdown
spank-the-little-boy
spank-the-wank
spank-the-wife's-best-friend
spanking-cheetah
spanking-Elvis
spanking-the-bishop
spanking-the-frank
spanking-the-monkey
spanking-the-salami
spear-chucking
sperm manicure, the
spit-polishing-the-purple-helmet
spit-one-off
spit-the-seeds
spraying-the-spectators
spreading-the-mayo
spunk-the-monk
spunking
squeeze-it-off
squeeze-off
squeezing-the-cheese
squeezing the cream (filling) from the (flesh) twinkie
squeezing-the-creamy-filter
squeezing-the-juice
squeezing-the-lemon
squeezing-the-squid
squeezing-the-weasel
squirt-n-spurt
squirt-one-off
squirt-seed
squirting-the-seed
stacking-the-deck
staff-meeting
stir-the-stew
stirring-the-batter
straddle-the-paddle
strain-the-main-vein
strain-the-vein
straining-the-spaghetti
strangle-Kojak .
strangle-the-dangle
strangle-the-stogie
strangle-Yoda
strangling-the-serpent
stretching-the-muscle
stretching the silly putty
strike-the-pink-match
stroke
stroke-off
stroke-oneself
stroke-the-beef
stroke-the-bloke
stroke-the-dog
stroke-the-lizard
stroke-the-poker
stroke-the-purple-nosed-gusset-ferret
stroke-the-stallion
stroke-the-string
stroke-the-Wookie
stroke-your-ego
strokem-your-scrotum
stroking-it
stroking-off
stroking-the-dog
stroking-the-loaf
stroking-the-lizard
stroking-the-mole
stroking-the-one-eyed-burping-gecko
stroking-the-poker
stroking-the-satin-headed-serpent
stroking-the-schlong
stroking-the-scoobie
stroking-the-squirmin'-german
stroking-the-twinkie
stroking-the-wiener
stropping-the-beak
stropping-the-mulligan
strum-the-ol'-banjo
strumming-the-banjo
suffocate-the-organ
summon-the-genie
summoning-the-semen-demon
surfing-on-the-Milky-Highway
Swedish
sweep-off
swordfighting
syphon-the-python
taffy-tugger
taffy-pulling-contest
take-a-beating
take-a-load-off-your-mind
take-a-ride-on-the-mean-spanking-machine
take-Captain-Picard-to-warp-speed
take-down-(by-hand)
take-in-hand
take-matters-into-your-own-hands
take-ol'-stiff-neck-to-the-movies
take-oneself-in-hand
taking-a-nap
taking-a-shake-break
taking-care-of-business
taking-Herman-to-the-circus
taking-matters-into-one's-own-hands
taking-ol'-one-eye-through-the-fly
taking-part-in-population-control
taking-some-time-off
taking-the-Jocelyn-Elders-midterm
taking-the-monster-for-a-one-armed-ride
talking-quietly-to-yourself
tame-the-bald-headed-mouse
tame-the-beef-weasel
tame-the-monster
taming-the-animal
taming-the-shrew
taming the snake
tango-con-mano
tap-dance
tap-dancing
taunting-the-one-eyed-weasel
TCB
teach-our-children-to-fly
teach-your-dog-to-spit
teach-Yule-Brenner-some-respect
tease-the-python
teasing-the-weenie
teasing-the-weasel
tee-off
tenderizing-the-meat
tenderizing-the-tube-steak
tenderizing your piece of pork
test-the-flashlight
testicular-tensile-strength-test
testing old faithful
testing out the magic love wand
testing-the-batteries
testing-the-testicles
that-crazy-hand-jive
there's always a solution at hand
thrap(e)
thrapping
throttle-kojak
throttle-the-turkey
throw-the-ball-around
throwing-(one)
thump-the-pump
thump-the-pumper
tickle one's cock
tickle-the-pickle
tickling old-one-eye
tickling-the-one-eyed-weasel
tickling-the-pickle
tonking
toot-the-flute
tooting-the-horn
torking-the-fork
torking-the-power-rod
torment-the-trouser-trout
torquing-the-taliwacker
torquing-the-wrench
torturing-the-tentacle
toss-him-off
toss-it-off
toss-off
toss-the-boss
tossing-off
tossing-the-caber
tossing-the-ham-javelin
tossing-the-salad
tossing-the-snag
tossing-the-turkey
tossing-yogurt
train-the-love-porpoise
treating-yourself-right
triborgasmia
trolling-for-flames
tromboning
trouser-olympics
trouser-snake-CPR
trying-to-make-One-Eyed-Willy-puke
trying to pull something off
tug-o-war with the (ol') cyclops
tugging-the-slug
tugging-the-tapioca-tube
tuning-the-fork
tuning-the-horn
turn-the-knob
turning-japanese
turning-on,-tuning-in-and-dropping-out
tussle with your muscle
twang-the-wire
tweak-the-twiddle
tweak-the-twinkie
tweaking-the-twinkie
twirl-the-squirrel
twist-the-turnip
twisting-the-crank
twisting-the-piston
twisting-the-tool
unclog-the-pipes
unclogging-the-sink
unleash-the-fury
unloading-passengers-from-the-five-car-train
unloading-the-gun
Uncle-Frank
unrolling the turtle neck
unsheathing-the-pork-sword
unsheathing the shlong
uprooting-the-big-mushroom
using the force (on Darth Vader)
vanilla puke session
varnish-one's-cane
varnish-the-cane
varnish-the-pole
varnish-the-stick
varnishing-the-flagpole
verifying your manhood
violating-the-hedge-hog
visit-Mary-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters
visit-Mrs.-Palm-and-her-5-daughters
visit-Rosy-Palm-and-her-five-daughters
visiting Merry (or Mary) Palmer
visiting Mother Thumb and her four daughters
visiting-the-notary-public
wack (off)
wack-the-weasel
wack-your-squack
wacker
wacking-off
wacking-the-one-eyed-worm
wacking-the-weasel
wacking-the-willie
wacking-Wee-Willie-Wonka
wackomatic
waking-the-dead
walk-the-dog
walking-old-one-eye
walking the bearded one-eyed love dog
walking-the-dog
walking the one eyed dog
walking-the-paraket
walking-the-plank
walking-the-snake
walking-Willie-the-one-eyed-wonder-worm
wallop-the-sausage
wallop-the-weiner
waltz-with-Willy
wang-off
wank
wank-off
wank-on-it
wank-the-crank
wanker-the-anchor
wanking-(off)
wanking-one-eyed-Willy
wanking-the-one-eyed-wonder-worm
wanking-the-scube
wanking-with-the-one-eyed-wonder-weasel
wapping-your-weenie
warming-up-the-altar-boys'-dinner
wash-the-cosh
washing-the-goose's-neck
washing-the-hog
washing-the-lighthouse
washing-the-meat
waste-a-short-time
waste-time
wasting-babies
watch-the-eyelid-movies
wave-the-wand
waving-the-magic-wand
wax-the-beam
wax-the-bean
wax-the-board
wax-the-Buick
wax-the-candle-stick
wax-the-carrot
wax-the-dolphin
wax-the-womb-broom
waxing-the-car
waxing-the-carrot
waxing the pole
waxing-the-surfboard
waxing-the-t-bird
wearing-a-fat-guys-slacks
whack
whack-it
whack-little-Mac
whack-off
whack-the-bishop
whack-the-pud
whack-the-yak
whack-your-Magic-Johnson
whacking-it
whacking-off
whacking the one-eyed-worm
whacking-the-weasel
whacking-Wee-Willie-Winkie
whacking-willy
whacking your pud
whank
whank-off
whank-pit
whipping the snot out of one-eyed goofy
whiffing-an-easy-fairway-shot
whip-it
whip-off
whip-the-cat
whip-the-devil
whip-the-dripper
whip-the-dummy
whip-the-weenie
whip-the-wire
whip-the-worm
whipping-dripping
whipping-off
whipping-the-bishop
whipping-the-dripper
whipping-the-dummy
whipping-the-one-eyed-trouser-snake
whipping the pony
whipping the rat
whipping-the-stiff
whipping-the-weasel
whipping-the-wire
whipping up some baby batter
whipping-up-some-sour-cream
whipping-Willy-the-one-eyed-wonder-worm
whipping-your-Willy
white-water wristing
whittle-the-wood
whittling-Dixie
whittling-the-stick
whiz-the-jizzum
whizzing-jism
whizzing-the-jism
whizzing the jizzum
wienering
wiggling-the-worm
Willie-and-the-hand-jive
Willy Wonkin'
winding-the-jack-in-the-box
winding-the-Wurlitzer
windsurf-on-Mount-Baldy
winning a taffy-pulling-contest
wobbling my woodle
wonk-your-conker
work (oneself) off
workin'-the-jerkin
working-in-the-garden
working-off
working-off-a-batch
working-out-a-stiff-joint
working-your-willy
worshiping-the-finger-prince
worshiping-the-fist-prince
worshipping the white god of seed
wrench-off
wrestle-the-bald-headed-champion
wrestle-the-cyclops
wrestling-the-bald(-headed)-champion
wrestling-the-cyclops
wrestling-the-eel
wrestling-the-one-eyed-monster
wrestling-the-purple-headed-warrior
wrestling the snake
wrestling-with-the-bald(-headed)-champ
wrestling-with-the-blue-veined-custard-chucker
wring-the-rattlesnake
wringing (the cheesy bell)
wringing-out-the-rope
wrist-aerobics
wrist-job
wrist-off
wristing
yang-the-wang
yank
yank-off
yank-the-crank
yank-the-dork
yank-the-doodle
yank-the-plank
yank-the-shlong
yank-the-strap
yank-the-wang
yank-the-Yoda
yank-the-yak
yank-the-yam
yank-your-strap
yank-your-wank
yank-yourself-(off)
Yankee-your-Wankee
yanking the penal cord
yanking-the-plank
yanking-the-yoyo
yanking
yanking-off
yanking-the-crank
yucking your choad
See Also: 3 point shot, 5-digit disco, a date with Manuela, a date with Senorita Mano, a little southern romance, a visit from Mother Fist, accordion solo, accosting the Oscar Meyer, activating cruise control, addressing Mr. Palmer, adjusting your set, ambidexterity, answer the bone-a-phone, applying for a fishing liscence, applying lip gloss, applying the hand brake, arm aerobics, arm breaker, armswing, armswinging, art of unisex, arthur, articulate the archdeacon, assault on a friendly weapon, attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior, audition the finger puppets, auditioning the hand puppet, bachelor's delight, bachelor's fare, backstroke roulette, bait the hook, ball off, balling off, balls deep into your fist, bananas and cream, bang the banjo, bang the bishop, bang the wanger, banging the drum, bank with Barclays, Barclay's bank, bash the bishop, bashing the bishop, bashing the candle, bashing the dummy, basting the tuna, bat off, batting practice, battling the purple-helmeted warrior, beastliness, beat, beat it, beat meat, beat off, beat one's little brother, beat Pete, beat the bald-headed bandit, beat the bishop, beat the dork, beat the dummy, beat the goose, beat the hog, beat the meat, beat the pud, beat the pup, beat the tom-tom, beat your meat like it owes you money, beating around the bush, beating it with a smile on your face, beating off, beating the bait, beating the bed flute, beating the bishop, beating the bologna, beating the boner, beating the bush, beating the meat, beating the old man, beating the piss outta my best friend, beating the pud, beating the snake, beating the stick, beating your meat on the toilet seat, beef-stroke-it-off, bell polishing, bequeath your genes, biffing off, big date with Rosy Palms, big stroke time, bishoprage, blanket drill, bleed the goose, bleed the lizard, bleed the weed, bloating the vein, blooch, blooming, blow off, blowing your own horn, bludgeon the beefsteak, blue-vein shuffle, bob, bob the bologna, bobbing the boloney, body rub, boffer, bollock service, bologna bop, bombing the German helmet, bop, bop the baloney, bop the mop, bopping Richard, bopping the bishop, bopping the bologna, bopping the bonzo, box the Jesuit (and get cockroaches), boxing the bald champ, boxing the bald-headed clown, boxing the ballsack, boxing the Bozak, boxing the clown, boxing with Richard, brandle, break one off, bring down (by hand), bring off by hand, bring up by hand, brushing the beaver, buck the bone, bucking it, buff the beaver, buff the dog, buff the mushroom, buff the pylon, buff the weasle, buffing, buffing the banana, buffing the bishop, buffing the box, buffing the helmet, buffing the jewel, buffing the magic lamp, buffing the rifle, buffing the wood, buggering the hand, burp the baldman, burp the worm, burping the baby, burping the worm, bury the knuckle, bury the salami, bury the weenie, bust a nut, butter schlopping, butter the bead, butter the muffin, butter the potato, buttering the corn, buttering the muffin, butting the bead, cabareting, calling all cum, calling down for more mayo, candlesticking, caning the vandal, capturing the bishop, caressing the kitty, carrying weight, cast-off, catch up with Popeye, catching a case of whackinitis, celebrating Palm Sunday, changing your oil, charge the rod, charm the cobra, charm the serpent, charming the snake, cheat the meat, check the oil, checking for impotence, checking for testicular cancer, checking the status of the I/O port, cheesing off, chicken-grabbing, chicken-milking, chipping wood, choke hold, choke the bad guy, choke the chicken, choke the chook, choke the gopher, choking Charlie 'till he throws up, choking Kojak, choking the bald guy until he pukes, choking the chipmunk, choking the sheriff and waiting for the posse to come, chong your schlong, chuff, churn, churning butter, churning the butter, circling the knoll, clam bake for one, clamming the engram, clamping the pipe, clean the pipe(s), cleaning my fur coat, cleaning the fish, cleaning the rifle, cleaning the storm-drains, clear the custard, clearing the snorkel, climbing Mount Baldy, climbing the tree, clit bliss, clit fix, clit twit, clobbering the kleenex, closet frisbee, closing the deal, clubbing eddy, clubbing the clam, coating prince william sound with love oil, cock the cannon, cock your shotgun, coitus inter digitae, colonel sanders heimleich maneuver, color in the coloring book, come into your own, come the turkey, comforting Gary Coleman, coming into your own, coming one's mutton, coming to grips with yourself, conking the cardinal, consult Dr. Jerkoff, converse with Harry Palm, cook cucumbers, cook the clam, cook your nookie, cooking the cream of cock, corralling the tadpoles, couch hockey for one, countering cunts, court Madam Knuckle, crab tease, crack off a batch, cracking nuts, cracking off, cracking the bat, crank, crank the cream, crank the cream separator, crank the love pump, crank the monkey, crank the shaft, crank the shank, cranking for cum, cranking the corona, cream your corn, creamed beef, creaming the cheese, creaming the pie, creaming the twinkie, create an arch, crime of self-pollution, crimping the wire, critter cramming, crossing the great divide, crossing the swamp, crown the king, cuddling the kielbasa, cuff the carrot, cuff the dummy, cuff the meat, cuff the puppy, culture the American Blood Sausage, cum the scum, Custer's last stand, dactylate, damming the beaver, dance with Johnnie One-eye, dancing with myself, dancing with the captain, dash one's doodle, date Miss Michigan, date mother palm and her five daughters, date Palmala Handerson, dating Manuella, dating Rosie Palm and her five sisters, dating the Palm sisters, dating Thumbalina and her four sisters, decongesting the weasel, defrosting the fridge, devil's handshake, dialing the pink phone, dialing the rotary phone, dickless dildo dance, dicky-whacking, diddling, diddling Miss Daisy, diddling the dinky, digging for change, digging for clams, digging for your keys, digit disco, digital manipulation of the coital apparatus, digital special effects, digitally oscillating the penis, digitizing, dildo doodling, dilly with the willy, dinging the dong, dinky the slinky, discipline your soldier, disciplining the primate, dishonorable discharge, disobey the Pope, disseminating, diurnal pollution, do a dry waltz with oneself, do a one-finger exercise, do the dew, do the Han Solo, do the wet-n-stinky, do yourself off, docking in shuttle bay 5, doddle whacking, doing a hand job, doing a little soft-shoe, doing battle with the purple helmeted warrior of love, doing handiwork, doing hard time in the hand slammer, doing it your way, doing laps, doing one's nails, doing something for my chapped lips, doing the five knuckle chuckle, doing the five knuckle shuffle, doing the hand jive, doing the human version of autoexec.bat, doing the janitor thing, doing the knuckle chuckle on the ol' piss pump, doing the knuckle shuffle on the ol' piss pump, doing the pork sword jiggle, doing the solitary rhumba, doing the Two Finger Slot Rumba, doing the white knuckler, doing your own thing, dollop the weener, dong flogging, doodle the noodle, dousing the digits, downing at the club (for members only), drain Charle's Dickens, drain the dragon, drain the vein, draining the monster, draining the poisons from the building, draw on a length, drilling for oil in your own backyard, driving the skin bus, drooling, dropping a line, dropping stomach pancakes, drown the man in the boat, dry humping the ottoman, dry-firing the musket, dundering the devil, dunk the dolphin, dusting the endtable, dusting the old trophy, educating Peter, electing the president, empty the cannon, encapsulate your probe, engaging in internal revenue service, engaging in safe sex, enjoying a little southern comfort, enjoying yourself, entering no man's land, entering the ring of fire, erase the problem, erasing the problem, erupting the volcano, erupting Vesuvius, escorting the one-eyed postal worker out of its denim cell, evicting the testicular squatters, excercise your rights, experiencing men-o-paws, exploring Carlsbad Caverns, exploring the deep South, express a secret vice, express yourself (manually), fanning the fur, fanning the furnace, fanny fumbling, faxing Jimmy Dean, faxing the pope, feed the ducks, feed the fist, feed the spunk-o-meter, feed the stick, feeding the chooks, feeding your trouser-mouse, feel in one's pocket for one's big hairy rocket, female finger fun, fetch metal, fetch mettle, fiddle the bean, fiddle with oneself, fidget the midget, fidget with the digit, fight the champ, fight the turkey, file the fun-rod, filling up the belly button well, finger blasting, finger dancing, finger flick, finger fun, finger painting, fingerbating, fingering the fountain, fingering the skin harp, fire the hand cannon, fire the wobbly warhead, firing off a round, firing the flesh musket, firing the surgeon general, firm the worm, fishing for trouser trout, fishing for zipper trout, fist flick, fist fucking, fist fucking the piss pump, fist it off, fist kebabing 101, fist of fury, fist the mister, fist-fuck, fisting the mister, five against one, five against Willy, five finger boogie on the blue vein, five finger discount, five finger exercise(s), five finger knuckle shuffle, five finger lingo, five fingers against one penis, five knuckle chuckle, five knuckle olympics, five knuckle shuffle, five on one, five-finger solo, five-knuckle-shuffle (on the old piss pump), flapping takkie, flaying the emperor, flex one's sex, flick on over the thumb, flick the BIC, flip it around, flip it off, flip off, flip oneself off, flipping the bishop, flipping through the pages, flog, flog (oneself), flog a dead horse, flog a willing horse, flog it, flog the bishop, flog the dog, flog the dolphin, flog the dong, flog the donkey, flog the dummy, flog the goose, flog the hog, flog the infidel, flog the lizard, flog the log, flog the meat, flog the mutton, flog the old whipping-boy, flog the pork, flog the pup, flog the sausage, flog the whipping-boy, flogging the dog, flogging the dolphin, flogging the dong, flogging the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the mule, flogging the poodle, flogging the salami, flogging your dumber brother, flogging your pride, flong the dong, flopping beef, flossing the cat, flub the dub, flute solo, fly automatic, fly fishing, flying on automatic, flying solo, fondling the fig, four-lip whistling, freeing Willy, fret the fiddle-strings, frig off, frigging the love muscle, friggit, friggle, frosting the pastries, fuck Mary Fist, fuck off, fuck one's fist, fuck palmala, fuck the fist, fuck your fist, fuck-fist, fucking without complications, furry finger fuck, furry fun, fuzzy fun, gagging the clam, gagging the lips of love, gallop the antelope, gallop the goose, gallop the maggot, gallop the old lizard, galloping the lizard, genital pollution, genital sensate focussing, genital stimulation via phalangetic motion, genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion, get a date with Slick Mittens, get gravel for the goose, get one's nuts off, get oneself off, get some self, get some trim, getting a date with slick mittens, getting a grip on things, getting a hold of yourself, getting a little off-hand, getting a stain out of my carpet, getting chafed, getting gnarly with the knudster, getting in touch with your manhood, getting in touch with yourself, getting ones nuts off, getting stripped of your grammy, getting the german soldier marching, getting the glue stick, getting to know yourself, getting to know yourself personally in the biblical sense, getting your caps peeled, getting your end away, getting your palm read, getting your palm read by Mister Softee, getting your pole varnished, gherkin-jerking, gilding the lily, give it a one-gun salute, give oneself a handjob, give oneself a low five, giving it a tug, giving the general a five-finger salute, giving yourself the finger, giving Yul Brenner the high-five, glazing the knuckle, gluing the lady's eye shut, go a couple rounds with the champ(ion), go back to the wig-wam and beat the tom-tom, go on a hand diet, go to war with yourself, going a couple of rounds with Ol' Josh, going cabareting, going eye to eye with Johnny Hung, going mining, going on a date with Handrea, going on a date with Palmela, going on a date with Rosey Palm and the five daughters, going on Peewee's little adventure, going on the blow, going on the dole, going out with Mother Thumb and her four daughters, going with Ms. Thumb & her four daughters, gong, grab the flab, grappling the gorilla, grease the goofy, greasing the flagpole, greasing the pipe, greasing the skillet, greasing your bone, greasing your hips, great sin of youth, grind off, grinding the goo shooter, grip it, grip the gorilla, grip the tip, gripping Flipper, gripping the pencil, groping the grotto, growing hair on the palms, gushing the geyser, gusset typing, hack off, hack the hog, hack the mack, hair in hand, ham shank, ham-boning, Han Solo, hand ball, hand fuck, hand gallop, hand game, hand jig, hand jive, hand job, hand labor, hand relief, hand shandy, hand solo, hand to gland combat, hand work, handful of pleasure, a, handle, handling the hard on, hands on training, handy work, hanging five, hanging the old man, hard labor, harp playing, haul your own ashes, have a date with a handkerchief, have a wank, have one off the wrist, having a ball, having a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake, having a date with Fisty Palmer, having a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters, having a five-knuckle-shuffle, having a ham shank, having a J. Arthur, having a one-night-stand with yourself, having a roy, having a sherman, having a tug, having a tug-of-war with the cyclops, having a whack attack, having an arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel, having dinner, having it off, having one off the wrist, having some clam dip, hee-haw with the wrinkled mee-maw, helping the python shed its skin, herkin' the gherkin, hiking the Grand Canyon, hit on Rosy Palm, hit the ham, hitchhike under the big top, hitchhiking south, hitchhiking to heaven, hitchhiking underneath the big top, hold the bold, holding my own, holding on to a family heirloom, holding the sausage hostage, holding your sausage hostage, hone the bone, honking Bobo, hoodwink, hot rod, hot rod it, hotdog-a-rama, housebreaking the cat, hug the hog, hula-hooping, hump the horn, hump the hose, hump your fist, humping air, humping the hose, hurting Burt until he squirts, husk it, ignite the lightsaber, in hand, in the hand cream, infanticide, informal values, installing a burglar alarm, invading Poland, invoking Venus, Irish promotion, Irish wedding, ironing some wrinkles, itching the ditch, J.O., J/O scene, jack hammer, jack hammering, jack off, jack the beanstalk, jack the corn, jack the joystick, jack the sack, jack your jizz, jack yourself, jacking, jacking off, jacking the beanstalk, jag off, jam the joystick, jeff off, jerk, jerk Jamby, jerk jelly, jerk job, jerk off, jerk the gherkin, jerk the johnson, jerk the joint, jerk the mutton, jerk the rope, jerk the Turk, jerk the turkey, jerk up, jerk your jewels, jerk yourself a soda, jerkin's hand lotion, jerking jamby, jerking off, jerking the gherkin, jerking the merkin, jerking the noodle, jerking the turkey, jerking the wheel, jiggle the jewelry, jiggling the dice, jiggling your cockanballs, jill off, jimmying the joey, jiring one's wad, jizzlobbing, Jocelyn Eldering, Jodrell Bank, jog off, juggling the coullions, juice the fruit, just jerkin' it, keep a date with bobby palm and his five brother, keep down the census, keep the census down, kick the gong around, kicking seamen, killing 45 seconds, killing it, killing off, knead your dough, kneading the knockwurst, knitting, knob, knob polishing, knob shining, knock on wood, knock the top off, knuckle shuffle, knuckle shuffle on the ol' piss pump, knuckling the bone, lady fingers and cream, launching a class probe, launching the hand shuttle, launching the head of a world-cup golfer, launching the tadpoles, leaking the main drain, Levy and Frank, levy break limbo, lightening the load, lighting the candle, lighting the pipe, lip smacking, little pinky hit the slinky, little southern romance, loading the cannon, local, lonely art, loob the goob, looking askance, looking for ticks, looking for uboats, lope the mule, love's labors lost, loving the muppet, loving thy self, lube the cord, lubing the tube, maintaining a holding pattern, make a bald man cry, make a milkshake, make fist-kabobs, make love to ones fist, make love with Mother Thumb and her four daughters, make love with Rosy Palm and her five sisters, make silly with the Willy, make the tide come in, making a banana spit, making a banana split, making a finger sandwich, making a foreskin cone, making a six-fist, making duck butter, making five fingers, making friends with Big Ed, making instant pudding, making love with Miss Right, making nut butter, making oyster soup, making soup, making the bald man cry, making the bald man puke, making the kitty purr, making the oysters smile, making the scene with the magazine, making vanilla jism shakes, making yogurt, making yourself at home, man overboard, mangling the midget, manipulating the mango, manning the cannon, manning the cockpit, manual exercise(s), manual gratification, manual job, manual labor, manual orgasm, manual override, manual persuasion, manual pollution, manual preference, manual release, manual sex, manual titillation, manually-assisted wet dream, manustupration, manuxorate, masonic secret self handshake, massage the fireman's neck, massage the one-eyed monk, massage your muscle, massage your purple-headed warrior, master bacon, maximize your potency, measuring for condoms, meet Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters, meet your right-hand man, meeting Mary Palm and her five sisters, meeting Rosie Hancock, meeting with Mother Thumb and her four daughters, menage a un, merry widow waltz, messing with Moby, milk, milk the chicken, milk the lizard, milk the maggot, milking one's self, milking the bull, milking the cow, milking the moose, milking the musket, milking the weasel, milkywaying, minding my own business, Miss Fist, mistressbate, mix up a batch, molesting the mole, monkey-slapping, monkey-spanking, Mother Fist and her five daughters, mount a corporal and four, moving into a one-bedroom apartment, moving the stone, much goo about nothing, muff ruffing, muffing buffing, mule breeding, murder the Bishop, mustard on the burger, My sex life!, navel maneuvers, nerking the throbber, night-club, non-penile pleasure pursuit, nulling the void, nuzzle the fuzz, oiling the glove, oiling the pogo stick, on the waterslide, Onan's Olympics, onanera, onania, onanistic, one gun salute, one hand clapping, one handed clapping, one man show, one man tug-o-war, one off the wrist, one-eye target practice, one-legged race, one-stick drum improvisation, one-two, oscillating the Oscar Meyer, pack the palm, packaging the ol' sausage, packing the palm, paddle the pickle, paddling the peter, paddling the pickle, paddling the pink canoe, paddling the robin, paint the ceiling, painting the pickle, painting the walls, palm it, Palmala Handerson, palming the calm, Palmolive finger dip, pampering the pussy, parting the petals, parting the red sea, parting the waters, passing math, pat me muller, pat the Robertson, pause that refreshes, the, paw-paw tricks, pearl fishing, peeling some chilies, peeling the banana, peeling the carrot, peeling the chile, performing a pearl jam, performing a self-test, performing an organ solo, performing diagnostics on your mantool, performing for Mr. Swaggart, perling the oyster, perm the poodle, petal pushing, petting kitty, petting Snoopy, petting the bunny, petting the kitty, petting the lizard, petting the pussy, petting the snake, petting the Wookie, petting your dog, phoning the czar, piddle the pud, pinch the cat, pink piston practice, pipping the pumpkin, pitch a knuckle ball, pitching in the bush leagues, play a flute solo on one's meat whistle, play billiards, play pocket billiards, play pocket pool, play the bones, play the male organ, play the piss pipe, play the skin flute, play with oneself, play with Willy Wanker, play with your Willy Wanker, playing a bass solo, playing a little five-on-one, playing a little game of five on one, playing a one-stringed guitar, playing a solo on the meat whistle, playing in a one-man show, playing peek-a-boo (with Mr. Johnson), playing piano, playing pocket pinball, playing pocket pool, playing soapy Peter, playing tag with the pink torpedo, playing the beaver, playing the fiddle, playing the flesh flute, playing the flesh trombone, playing the hairy banjo, playing the man-flute, playing the one-stringed melody, playing the pink oboe, playing the silent trombone, playing the skin flute, playing the slots, playing tug-o-war with the cyclops, playing uno, playing with dick, playing with it, playing with Susi Palmer and her five friends, playing with the man in the boat, playing with the pineapple, playing with the pink Power Ranger, playing with the spitting llama, playing with the turtle, playing with your 6th finger, playing with your big Alien, playing Yahtzee, please the pisser, pleasing the pisser, plucking the chicken, plumbing the bottomless pit of passion, plunking the twanger, pocket billiards, pocket pinball, pocket polka, pocket pool, pocket waltz, point one's social finger, poking the pie, poking the pucker, polish the bayonet, polish the chrome dome, polish the horn, polish the knob, polish the log, polish the Oscar, polish the pole, polish the shooter, polish the viper, polishing Charlie Brown, polishing Percy in your palm, polishing the beak, polishing the family jewels, polishing the helmet, polishing the night stick, polishing the nugget, polishing the peanut, polishing the pearl, polishing the pud, polishing the rocket, polishing the silver, polishing the sword, polishing the wedding ring, pollute, popping a nut, popping the cork, popping the purple pimple, popping the zit, Portuguese pump, pound it, pound off, pound the bobo, pound the flounder, pound the meat, pound the peenie, pound the pork, pound the pud, pounding off, pounding the bald-headed moose, pounding the flounder, pounding the pud, pounding the pudding, pow-wow with the one-eyed Redskin, practising, praising the orchid, preheating the oven, preparing the carrot, pressing the pleats, prime it, prime the pump, prime the womb cannon, priming the pump, prodding the half-cooked pastrami, producing whore moans, prompt the porpoise, prostate maintenance, prune the fifth limb, pub the dub, pud wrestling, pud-pulling, pudwhacking, puff the one-eyed dragon, pull, pull it (off), pull off, pull one off, pull one's dong, pull one's joint, pull one's pud, pull one's wang, pull oneself off, pull putz, pull some lumber, pull someone off, pull the duck's neck, pull the joint, pull the peter, pull the pin, pull the pole, pull the pope, pull the pork, pull the pud, pull the pudding, pull the root, pull the taffy, pull the wire, pull wire, pull your prick, pulling a solo session, pulling off, pulling on Peter, pulling rank, pulling the bologna pony, pulling the carrot, pulling the colonel sanders heimleich manuever, pulling the cord, pulling the five-knuckle shuffle, pulling the goalie, pulling the handbrake, pulling the mule, pulling the pole, pulling the pope, pulling the pud, pulling the putz, pulling the taffy, pulling the weed, pulling the wire, pulling your goalie, pulling your own leg, pulling your prick, pummel the love truncheon, pummeling the priest, pump off, pump one's pickle, pump oneself off, pump ship, pump the monkey, pump the python, pumping cream, pumping for pleasure, pumping for power, pumping the electric goo gun, pumping the gas at the self-service island, pumping the kooter, pumping the stump, punchin' the munchkin, punching the clown, punching the puppet, punish Percy in the palm, punish the Harlequin, punish the penguin, punishing the pope, pushing the button, pushing the daisy and make it cum, pussy poking, pussy soccer, qualifying in the testicular time trial, R2 your D2, raise the flag, raising Lazarus from the dead, raising the mainsail, rake your meat, raking the leaves, ram the ham, rank, rapid one arm pull-ups, ravage the innocent, reading in Braille, reading poetry, reading with one hand, relaxation rubdown, relief massage, relieving tension, returning to sender, ride sidesaddle, ride the curl, ride the great white knuckler, ride the tubespout, ride the tubsput, riding the clitoris-saurus, riding the great white knuckler, riding the unicycle, riding the waterslide, riding the wild hand, ring for the maid, ringing for the elevator, ringing southern bells, roasting chestnuts, rocking the little man in the boat, rod-walloping, rodding, rodgering, rogering, rolling the dough, rolling the fleshy blunt, rolling the mink, rolling your own, Roman helmet rumba, romancing Lady Five Fingers, romancing the bone, romancing the rose, romancing thy own, Romeo and himself, roping the long horn, roping the pony, roping the pope, roughing up the suspect, row the little man in the boat, rowing the boat, rub off, rub off by hand, rub one out, rub the (little) head, rub the knob, rub the magic lamp, rub the radish, rub the tub, rub up, rub your cooze 'til you ooze, rubbin nubbin, rubbing one out, rubbing the donut, rubbing the love nubbin, rubbing the magic one-eyed wonder weasel, rubbing the nub, rubbing the nubbin, rubbing the pink eraser, rubbing the red pussycat, rubbing the rod, run a batch, run off by hand, run one's hand up the flagpole, running off a batch by hand, running Peter through two-a-days, running the 100-yard dash, running the cheeta, running the whack-a-thon, sacrificing sperm to the god of lonely nights, safest sex, sailors' joy, salute the sailor, sanding the banister, sanding wood, schnauzer shuffleboard, schplitzing the schmeckel, scoring the hoop, scouring the tower of power, scraping the horn, scratch the crack, scratch the patch, scratch the snatch, scratching the itch, scratching the snatch patch, screw off, scrub the cake pan, scuff the muff, scuffing the muff, se branler, se crosser, se faire les cinq doigts de la main, se passer un poignet, search for Spock, secret handshake, secret indulgence, secret selfish sin, secret sin, secret vice, see if the baby's home, see Madam(e) Thumb and her four daughters, self-induced penile regurgitation, self-inflicted intercourse, self-manipulation, self-relief, self-service, self-stimulation, serta solo, setting off a depth charge, setting the oysters, sew, shag, shagging, shake, shake hands with the governor, shake hands with the wife's best friend, shake it up, shake the snake, shake the weasel, shake up, shaking hands with Abraham Lincoln, shaking hands with Jack Mcnasty, shaking hands with Little Elvis, shaking hands with Mr. Happy, shaking hands with Mr. President, shaking hands with Shorty, shaking hands with the General, shaking hands with the guy that stood up when I got married, shaking hands with the midget, shaking hands with the unemployed, shaking hands with the wife's best friend, shaking hands with your John Thomas, shaking hands with Yul Brenner, shaking the bottle, shaking the dice, shaking the hand of the self-employed, shaking the hand of the unemployed, shaking the sauce, shaking the sausage, shaking the snake, shaking your (own) maracas, shaking your fist at the sky, shaking your hand at the sky, shanking, she-bop, shellacking the shellaleigh, shelling the bean, shemping the hog, Sherman, Sherman tank, shift gears, shifting gears, shifting into first gear, shine the pole, shining the helmet, shining the pole, shining the pork sword, shoot skeet, shoot the cat, shooting (off) the muck, shooting flies, shooting for the moon, shooting hoops, shooting putty at the moon, shooting tadpoles at the moon, shooting the rapids, short strokes, shuck the corn, shuffle the deck, shuffling the Kit-Kat, simple infanticide, sing an aria, sing with Rosie, single dingles, skeet shooting, skimming the cream, skin the bone, skin the lizard, slaking the bacon, slam the ham, slam the spam, slamming the ham, slamming the hammer, slamming the salami, slamming the salmon, slamming the spam, slap the hammer, slap the little head, slap the wapper, slapping high fives with Yul Brynner, slapping it, slapping pappy, slapping the big-nosed rasta man, slapping the Cap'n, slapping the carrot, slapping the clown, slapping the donkey, slapping the fleshgopher, slapping the mackerel, slapping the pud, slapping the purple headed yogurt pistol, slapping the salami, slaughter of the innocent, slaying the one-eyed monster, slide the shaft, slimmer, sling one's jelly, sling one's juice, slinging the jelly, slipping yourself a mickey, slog the log, slopping the hogs, sloppy sign language, smacking the clam, smacking the oompa loompa, smacking the salami, smacking the sausage, smacking the weasel, smacking your sister, smacking-off, smash the stake, smoking hooch with reagan, snap, snap the rubber, snapping one off, snapping the carrot, snapping the monkey, snapping the rubber, snapping the twig, snapping the whip, snatching, snuggle the nozzle, soaking in Palmolive, soaking the whisker biscuit, soldier's joy, solitary evil, solitary sex, solitary sin, solitary vice, solo flight, solo marathon, solo sex, solo spit, southern comfort, southern massage, southern pleasures, southern romance, southern seduction, spackling the ceiling, spam wham, spank the bishop, spank the carrot, spank the hangdown, spank the little boy, spank the wank, spank the wife's best friend, spanking cheetah, spanking Elvis, spanking the bishop, spanking the frank, spanking the monkey, spanking the salami, spear chucking, spelunking, spit one off, spit the seeds, spit-polishing the purple helmet, spraying the spectators, spreading the mayo, spreading the petals, spunk the monk, spunking, squeeze it off, squeeze off, squeezing the cheese, squeezing the cream from the twinkie, squeezing the creamy filter, squeezing the juice, squeezing the lemon, squeezing the squid, squeezing the weasel, squirt one off, squirt seed, squirt-n-spurt, squirting the seed, stacking the deck, staff meeting, stiffening the upper lip, stir the stew, stir the yogurt, stirring it up, stirring the batter, stirring the yogurt, stoking the furnace, straddle the paddle, strain the main vein, strain the vein, straining the spaghetti, strangle Kojak, strangle the dangle, strangle the stogie, strangle Yoda, strangling the serpent, stretching the muscle, strike the pink match, stroke, stroke off, stroke oneself, stroke the beef, stroke the bloke, stroke the dog, stroke the lizard, stroke the poker, stroke the purple-nosed gusset ferret, stroke the stallion, stroke the string, stroke the Wookie, stroke your ego, strokem your scrotum, stroking it, stroking off, stroking the dog, stroking the lizard, stroking the loaf, stroking the mole, stroking the one-eyed burping gecko, stroking the poker, stroking the satin-headed serpent, stroking the schlong, stroking the scoobie, stroking the snail, stroking the squirmin' german, stroking the twinkie, stroking the wiener, stropping the beak, stropping the mulligan, strum the ol' banjo, strumming, strumming the banjo, strumming the Big Open, stuff the taco, stump-jump, suffocate the organ, summon the genie, summoning the semen demon, surf the wet, surfing at finger beach, surfing on the Milky Highway, surfing the channel, sushi party, swat the twat, sweep off, sweet slide, the, taffy tugger, taffy-pulling contest, take a beating, take a load off your mind, take a ride on the mean spanking machine, take Captain Picard to warp speed, take down (by hand), take in hand, take matters into your own hands, take ol' stiff neck to the movies, take oneself in hand, taking a dip, taking a nap, taking a shake break, taking a trip south, taking care of business, taking Herman to the circus, taking matters into one's own hands, taking ol' one eye through the fly, taking old one-eye to the optometrist, taking part in population control, taking some time off, taking the Jocelyn Elders midterm, taking the monster for a one-armed ride, taking the old skin boat to tuna town, talking quietly to yourself, tame the bald-headed mouse, tame the beef weasel, tame the monster, taming goliath, taming the animal, taming the shrew, tango con mano, tap dancing, tap-dance, taunting the one-eyed weasel, teach our children to fly, teach your dog to spit, teach Yule Brenner some respect, team cream, tease the python, teasing the kitty, teasing the taco, teasing the tuna, teasing the weasel, teasing the weenie, tee off, tenderizing the meat, tenderizing the tube steak, test the flashlight, testicular tensile strength test, testing the batteries, testing the plumbing, testing the testicles, that crazy hand jive, theater in the round, thrap(e), thrapping, throttle kojak, throttle the turkey, throw the ball around, throwing (one), thump the pump, thump the pumper, tickle, tickle the ditty, tickle the mustache, tickle the pickle, tickle the taco, tickle torture, tickling the little man in the boat, tickling the one-eyed weasel, tickling the pickle, tiptoe through the twolips, toggling the bit, tonking, toot the flute, tooting the horn, torking the fork, torking the power rod, torment the trouser trout, torquing the taliwacker, torquing the wrench, torturing the tentacle, toss him off, toss it off, toss off, toss the boss, tossing off, tossing pink salad, tossing the caber, tossing the ham javelin, tossing the pink salad, tossing the salad, tossing the snag, tossing the turkey, tossing yogurt, touch typing, touching up, train the love porpoise, traveling past the mason-dixon line, treating yourself right, triborgasmia, trolling for flames, trolling the bermuda triangle, tromboning, trouser olympics, trouser snake CPR, trying to make One-Eyed Willy puke, TT, tug-o-war with the cyclops, tugging the slug, tugging the tapioca tube, tuning the fork, tuning the horn, turn the knob, turning japanese, turning on, tuning in and dropping out, twang the wire, twatty wank, tweak the twiddle, tweak the twig, tweak the twinkie, tweaking the little man in the boat, tweaking the twinkie, twiddle with oneself, twirl the squirrel, twist the turnip, twisting the crank, twisting the piston, twisting the tool, twit the clit, two finger taco tango, two fingered tango, Uncle Frank, unclog the pipes, unclogging the drain, unclogging the sink, unleash the fury, unloading passengers from the five-car train, unloading the gun, unsheathing the pork sword, uprooting the big mushroom, using the force on Darth Vader, varnish one's cane, varnish the cane, varnish the pole, varnish the stick, varnishing the flagpole, vice of self-defilement, violating the hedge-hog, visit Father Fingers, visit Mary Thumb and her four daughters, visit Mrs. Palm and her 5 daughters, visit Rosy Palm and her five daughters, visiting Merry Palmer, visiting Niagra Falls, visiting the notary public, visiting the safety deposit box, wack, wack off, wack the weasel, wack your squack, wacker, wacking off, wacking the one-eyed worm, wacking the weasel, wacking the willie, wacking Wee Willie Wonka, wackomatic, wake the butterfly, waking the dead, walk the dog, walk through the valley of love, walking old one-eye, walking the dog, walking the plank, walking the snake, walking Willie the one eyed wonder worm, wallop the sausage, wallop the weiner, waltz with Willy, wang off, wank, wank off, wank on it, wank the crank, wank-pit, wanker the anchor, wanking (off), wanking one-eyed Willy, wanking the one-eyed wonder worm, wanking the scube, wanking with the one-eyed wonder weasel, wapping your weenie, warming up the altar boys' dinner, wash the cosh, wash your fingers, washing the fingers, washing the goose's neck, washing the hog, washing the lighthouse, washing the meat, waste a short time, waste time, wasting babies, watch the eyelid movies, watching the butterfly smile, wave the wand, waving the magic wand, wax the beam, wax the bean, wax the board, wax the Buick, wax the candle-stick, wax the carrot, wax the dolphin, wax the womb-broom, waxing the car, waxing the carrot, waxing the surfboard, waxing the t-bird, wearing a fat guys slacks, whack, whack it, whack little Mac, whack off, whack the bishop, whack the pud, whack the yak, whack your Magic Johnson, whacker, whacking it, whacking off, whacking the weasel, whacking Wee Willie Winkie, whacking willy, whank, whank off, whank-pit, whanking off, whiffing an easy fairway shot, whip it, whip off, whip the cat, whip the devil, whip the dripper, whip the dummy, whip the weenie, whip the wire, whip the worm, whipping dripping, whipping off, whipping the bishop, whipping the cat, whipping the dripper, whipping the dummy, whipping the nest, whipping the one-eyed trouser snake, whipping the stiff, whipping the weasel, whipping the wire, whipping up some sour cream, whipping Willy the one-eyed wonder-worm, whipping your Willy, white water wristing, whittle the wood, whittling Dixie, whittling the stick, whiz the jizzum, whizzing jism, whizzing the jism, wienering, wiggling the worm, wild ride, the, Willie and the hand jive, winding the jack in the box, winding the Wurlitzer, windsurf on Mount Baldy, womanipulation, wonk off, wonk the conker, wonk your conker, wonking the conker, wonking the donk, work it off, work off, work oneself off, workin' the jerkin, working in the garden, working off, working off a batch, working out a stiff joint, working your willy, world wide wank, worshiping the finger prince, worshiping the finger princess, worshiping the fist prince, worshiping the white god of seed, WPW, wrench off, wrestle the bald-headed champion, wrestle the cyclops, wrestling the bald(-headed) champion, wrestling the cyclops, wrestling the eel, wrestling the one-eyed monster, wrestling the purple headed warrior, wrestling with the bald(-headed) champ, wrestling with the blue-veined custard chucker, wriggle, wring the rattlesnake, wringing (it), wringing out the rope, wringing the cheesy bell, wrist aerobics, wrist job, wrist-off, wristing, yang the wang, yank (it), yank off, yank the crank, yank the doodle, yank the dork, yank the plank, yank the shlong, yank the strap, yank the wang, yank the yak, yank the yam, yank the Yoda, yank your strap, yank your wank, yank yourself (off), Yankee your Wankee, yanking, yanking off, yanking the crank, yanking the plank, yanking the yoyo, yawning, yucking your choad

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