The Language of Love, Lust, Sex

and All the Many-Splendored Things in Between in Teenspeak - Jockspeak - Menglish - Slanglish - Spanglish Gaylese - Americanese - Britspeak - Ozslang - Funetic Populo-Vulgar Speech - T-Shirt & Net Shorthand Pompo-Verbosity & other Figurative Lingos
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masturbation-male:
SYNONYMS:
Although most of the synonyms listed below are written exactly as I found them, in some cases I standardized the use of THE ( skin-the-bone ) in replacement of YOUR or ONE'S ( skin your bone , skin one's bone ) Verb vs. verbal noun.
5-digit-disco
a date with Manuel
a-date-with-Manuela
a-date-with-Senorita-Mano
a-visit-from-Mother-Fist
accosting-the-Oscar-Meyer
activating-cruise-control
addressing-Mr.-Palmer
adjusting-your-set
ambidexterity
answer-the-bone-a-phone
applying-for-a-fishing-liscence
applying-the-hand-brake
arm-aerobics
arm-breaker
armswing
armswinging
arthur
articulate-the-archdeacon
assault-on-a-friendly-weapon
attacking-the-one-eyed-purple-headed-warrior
auditioning-the-hand-puppet
bachelor's-delight
bachelor's-fare
backstroke-roulette
baiting the hook
ball-off
balling-off
balls-deep-into-your-fist
bananas-and-cream
bang-the-banjo
bang-the-bishop
bang-the-wanger
banging-the-drum
bank-with-Barclays
Barclay's-bank
bash-the-bishop
bashing-the-bishop
bashing-the-candle
bashing-the-dummy
bat-off
batting-practice
battling-the-purple-helmeted-warrior
be-your-own-best-friend
beat
beat-it
beat-meat
beat-off
beat-one's-little-brother
beat-Pete
beat-the-bald-headed-bandit
beat-the-bishop
beat-the-dork
beat-the-dummy
beat-the-goose
beat-the-hog
beat-the-meat
beat-the-pud
beat-the-pup
beat-the-tom-tom
beat-your-meat-like-it-owes-you-money
beating-it-with-a-smile-on-your-face
beating-your-meat-on-the-toilet-seat
beating-off
beating-the-bait
beating-the-bed-flute
beating-the-bishop
beating-the-bologna
beating-the-boner
beating-the-meat
beating-the-old-man
beating-the-piss-outta-my-best-friend
beating-the-pud
beating-the-snake
beating-the-stick
beef-stroke-it-off
being your own best-friend
bell-polishing
bequeath-your-genes
best orgasm you'll ever get , the
biffing-off
big-date-with-Rosy-Palms
big-stroke-time
bishoprage
blanket-drill
bleed-the-goose
bleed-the-lizard
bleed-the-weed
bloating-the-vein
blooch
blow-off
blowing your load
blowing-your-own-horn
bludgeon-the-beefsteak
blue-vein-shuffle
bob
bob-the-bologna
bobbing-the-boloney
body-rub
boff
boffer
boffing
bollock-service
bologna-bop
bombing-the-German-helmet
bop
bop-the-baloney
bopping-the-bishop
bopping-the-bologna
bopping-Richard
bopping-the-bonzo
box-the-Jesuit-(and-get-cockroaches)
boxing-the-bald-champ
boxing-the-bald-headed-clown
boxing-the-ballsack
boxing-the-Bozak
boxing-the-clown
boxing-with-Richard
brandle
break-one-off
bring-down-(by-hand)
bring-off-by-hand
bring-up-by-hand
buck-the-bone
bucking-it
buff-the-dog
buff-the-mushroom
buff-the-pylon
buffing (the magic lamp)
buffing-the-bishop
buffing-the-banana
buffing-the-helmet
buffing-the-rifle
buffing-the-wood
buggering-the-hand
burp-the-baldman
burp-the-worm
burping-the-baby
burping-the-worm
bust-a-nut
buttering-the-corn
buttering-the-muffin
cabareting
calling-all-cum
calling-down-for-more-mayo
caning-the-vandal
capturing-the-bishop
carrying-weight
cast off
catch-up-with-Popeye
catching-a-case-of-whackinitis
celebrating-Palm-Sunday
changing-your-oil
charge-the-rod
charm-the-cobra
charm-the-serpent
charming-the-snake
cheat-the-meat
check-the-oil
checking-for-testicular-cancer
cheesing-off
chicken-grabbing
chicken-milking
chipping-wood
choke-hold
choke-the-bad-guy
choke-the-chicken
choke-the-chook
choke-the-gopher
choking-Charlie-'till-he-throws-up
choking-Kojak
choking-the-bald-guy-until-he-pukes
choking-the-chipmunk
choking-the-sheriff-and-waiting-for-the-posse-to-come
chong-your-schlong
chuff
churn
churn butter
churn-the-butter
churning-butter
churning-the-butter
circle-jerk
clamming-the-engram
clamping-the-pipe
clap-with-one-hand
clean-the-pipe(s)
cleaning-the-rifle
cleaning-the-storm-drains
clear-the-custard
clearing-the-snorkel
climbing-the-tree
climbing-Mount-Baldy
clobbering-the-kleenex
closet-frisbee
closing-the-deal
clubbing-eddy
clubbing-the-clam
coating-prince-william-sound-with-love-oil
cock-the-cannon
cock-your-shotgun
colonel-sanders-heimleich-maneuver
color-in-the-coloring-book
come-into-your-own
come-the-turkey
comforting-Gary-Coleman
coming-into-your-own
coming-one's-mutton
coming-to-grips-with-yourself
conking-the-cardinal
consult-Dr.-Jerkoff
converse-with-Harry-Palm
cooking-the-cream-of-cock
corralling-the-tadpoles
couch-hockey-for-one
court-Madam-Knuckle
crab-tease
crack-off-a-batch
cracking-nuts
cracking-off
cracking-the-bat
crank
crank-the-cream
crank-the-cream-separator
crank-the-love-pump
crank-the-monkey
crank-the-shaft
crank-the-shank
cranking-for-cum
cranking-the-corona
cream-your-corn
creamed-beef
creaming-the-cheese
create-an-arch
crimping-the-wire
crown-the-king
cuddling-the-kielbasa
cuff-the-carrot
cuff-the-dummy
cuff-the-meat
cuff-the-puppy
culture-the-American-Blood-Sausage
cum-the-scum
Custer's-last-stand
dance-with-Johnnie-One-eye
dancing-with-myself
dancing-with-the-captain
dash-one's-doodle
date Mother Palm and her five daughters
date-Miss-Michigan
date-Palmala-Handerson
dating-Manuella
dating-Rosie-Palm-and-her-five-sisters
dating-the-Palm-sisters
dating-Thumbalina-and-her-four-sisters
dealing
decongesting-the-weasel
defrosting-the-fridge
devil's-handshake
dicky-whacking
diddle
diddling
diddling-the-dinky
digitally-oscillating-the-penis
dilly-with-the-willy
dinging-the-dong
dinky-the-slinky
discipline-your-soldier
disciplining-the-primate
dishonorable-discharge
disobey-the-Pope
disseminating
diurnal-pollution
do-a-dry-waltz-with-oneself
do-it-yourself
do-the-dew
do-the-Han-Solo
do-the-wet-n-stinky
do-yourself-off
docking-in-shuttle-bay-5
doddle-whacking
doing-a-hand-job
doing-a-little-soft-shoe
doing-battle-with-the-purple-helmeted-warrior-of-love
doing-handiwork
doing-hard-time-in-the-hand-slammer
doing-it-your-way
doing-the-five-knuckle-chuckle
doing-the-five-knuckle-chuckle on the old piss pipe
doing-the-five-knuckle-chuckle on the old piss pump
doing the five-knuckle shuffle
doing-the-five-knuckle-shuffle on the old piss pipe
doing-the-five-knuckle-shuffle on the old piss pump
doing-the-hand-jive
doing-the-human-version-of-autoexec.bat
doing-the-janitor-thing
doing-the-knuckle-shuffle-on-the-ol'-piss-pump
doing-the-pork-sword-jiggle
doing-the-solitary-rhumba
doing-the-white-knuckler
doing-your-own-thing
dollop-the-weener
dong-flogging
doodle-the-noodle
double-jacking
downing-at-the-club-(for-members-only)
drain-Charle's-Dickens
drain-the-vein
drain-the-dragon
draining-the-monster
draining-the-poisons-from-the-building
draw-on-a-length
drilling-for-oil-in-your-own-backyard
driving-the-skin-bus
dropping-a-line
dropping-stomach-pancakes
dry-firing-the-musket
dry-humping-the-ottoman
dual-masturbation
dundering-the-devil
dunk-the-dolphin
dusting-the-old-trophy
educating-Peter
electing-the-president
empty-the-cannon
encapsulate-your-probe
engaging-in-internal-revenue-service
engaging-in-safe-sex
enjoying-yourself
erupting-the-volcano
erupting-Vesuvius
evicting-the-testicular-squatters
excercise-your-rights
experiencing-men-o-paws
express-a-secret-vice
express-yourself-(manually)
faxing-Jimmy-Dean
faxing-the-pope
feed-the-ducks
feed-the-fist
feed-the-spunk-o-meter
feed-the-stick
feeding-the-chooks
feel-in-one's-pocket-for-one's-big-hairy-rocket
fetch-metal
fetch-mettle
fidget-the-midget
fidget-with-the-digit
fight-the-champ
fight-the-turkey
file-the-fun-rod
filling-up-the-belly-button-well
fire-the-hand-cannon
fire-the-wobbly-warhead
fire-your-wad
firing-off-a-round
firing-the-flesh-musket
firing-the-surgeon-general
firm-the-worm
first you grab it by the head then you beat-it till it's dead
fishing-for-trouser-trout
fishing-for-zipper-trout
fist-flick
fist-fuck
fist-fucking
fist-fucking-the-piss-pump
fist-it-off
fist-kebabing-101
fist-of-fury
fist-the-mister
fisting-the-mister
five-against-one
five-against-Willy
five-finger-boogie-on-the-blue-vein
five-finger discount
five-finger-exercise(s)
five-finger-knuckle-shuffle
five-finger-lingo
five-finger-solo
five-fingers-against-one-penis
five-knuckle chuckle
five-knuckle olympics
five-knuckle shuffle
five-knuckle shuffle on the old piss pump
five-knuckle shuffle on the piss pump
five-on-one
fives
fixing the plumbing
flapping-takkie
flaying-the-emperor
flex-one's-sex
flexing Russell the one-eyed love-muscle
flick-the-BIC
flick-on-over-the-thumb
flip-it-around
flip-it-off
flip-off
flip-oneself-off
flipping-the-bishop
flog
flog-(oneself)
flog-a-dead-horse
flog-a-willing-horse
flog-it
flog-the-bishop
flog-the-dog
flog-the-dolphin
flog-the-dong
flog-the-donkey
flog-the-dummy
flog-the-goose
flog-the-hog
flog-the-infidel
flog-the-lizard
flog-the-log
flog-the-meat
flog-the-mutton
flog-the-old-whipping-boy
flog-the-pork
flog-the-pup
flog-the-sausage
flog-the-whipping-boy
flogging the bishop
flogging-the-dog
flogging-the-dolphin
flogging-the-dong
flogging the dummy
flogging-the-frog
flogging-the-hog
flogging-the-mule
flogging the old dog
flogging-the-poodle
flogging-the-salami
flogging-your-dumber-brother
flogging your log
flogging-your-pride
flong-the-dong
flopping-beef
flub-the-dub
flushing babies
flute-solo
fly-fishing
fondling-the-fig
freeing-Willy
frig
frig-off
frig-oneself
frigging
frigging-the-love-muscle
friggit
friggle
frosting-the-pastries
fuck-fist
fuck-the-fist
fuck-your-fist
fuck-off
fuck-one's-fist
fuck-Mary-Fist
fuck-palmala
fucking Miss Michigan
gaining an inch
gallop-the-antelope
gallop-the-goose
gallop-the-maggot
gallop-the-old-lizard
galloping-the-lizard
genital-stimulation-via-phalangetic-motion
genitalic-stimulation-via-phallengetic-motion
get-gravel-for-the-goose
get-one's-nuts-off
get-oneself-off
get-some-self
get-some-trim
get-to-know-yourself
get to the peak of your peker
getting-a-date-with-slick-mittens
getting-a-grip-on-things
getting-a-hold-of-yourself
getting-a-little-off-hand
getting-a-stiffy
getting-chafed
getting gissy with the goo
getting-gnarly-with-the-knudster
getting-in-touch-with-your-manhood
getting-in-touch-with-yourself
getting jiggy (or jizzy) with it
getting-ones-nuts-off
getting-stripped-of-your-grammy
getting-the-german-soldier-marching
getting-the-glue-stick
getting-to-know-yourself
getting-to-know-yourself-personally-in-the-biblical-sense
getting-your-caps-peeled
getting-your-palm-read (or red)
getting-your-palm-read-by-Mister-Softee (or Softy)
getting-your-pole-varnished
gherkin-jerking
gilding-the-lily
give-it-a-one-gun-salute
give-oneself-a-handjob
give-oneself-a-low-five
giving flipper a backrub
giving-it-a-tug
giving-the-general-a-five-finger-salute
giving the pope a stroke
giving-Yul-Brenner-the-high-five
glazing-the-knuckle
gluing-the-lady's-eye-shut
go-a-couple-rounds-with-the-champ(ion)
go-back-to-the-wig-wam-and-beat-the-tom-tom
go-on-a-hand-diet
go-to-war-with-yourself
going-a-couple-of-rounds-with-Ol'-Josh
going-cabareting
going-eye-to-eye-with-Johnny-Hung
going-on-a-date-with-Handrea
going-on-a-date-with-Palmela
going-on-a-date-with-Rosey-Palm-and-the-five-daughters
going-blind
going-on-Peewee's-little-adventure
going-on-the-blow
going-on-the-dole
going-out-with-Mother-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters
going surfing on mount baldy
going with Ms. Thumb & her four daughters
got a date with Rosie Palm(er)
grab-the-flab
grappling-the-gorilla
grasping at the opportunity
grease-the-goofy
greasing-the-flagpole
greasing-the-pipe
greasing-your-bone
grind-off
grinding-the-goo-shooter
grip-it
grip-the-gorilla
grip-the-tip
gripping-Flipper
gripping-the-pencil
growing a tree then chopping it down
growing-hair-on-the-palms
gushing-the-geyser
hack-off
hack-the-hog
hack-the-mack
hair-in-hand
ham-boning
ham-shank
Han-Solo
handball
hand-fuck
hand-gallop
hand-game
hand-gig
hand-head
hand-jig
hand-jive
hand-job
hand-labor
hand-relief
hand-shandy
hand-solo
hand-to-gland-combat
hand-work
handful-of-pleasure,-a
handle
handling the hard-on
hands-on-training
handy-work
hanging-five
hanging-the-old-man
hard-labor
haul-your-own-ashes
have-a-date-with-a-handkerchief
have-a-wank
have-one-off-the-wrist
having-a-ball
having-a-ball ... well, two actually
having-a-conversation-with-the-one-eyed-trouser-snake
having-a-date-with-Fisty-Palmer
having-a-date-with-Rosie-Palm-and-her-five-sisters
having a date with the five-fingered widow
having-a-five-knuckle-shuffle
having-a-ham-shank
having-a-J.-Arthur
having-a-one-night-stand-with-yourself
having-a-roy
having-a-sherman
having a staff-meeting
having-a-tug
having-a-tug-of-war-with-the-cyclops
having-a-whack-attack
having an affair with digits
having-an-arm-wrestle-with-your-one-eyed-vessel
having an intelligent conversation with Dick
having an oscar-meyer moment
having-dinner
having-it-off
having-one-off-the-wrist
having-sex-with-someone-you-love
helping-the-python-shed-its-skin
helping Tom Sawyer white-wash the fence
herkin'-the-gherkin
hit-on-Rosy-Palm
hit-the-ham
hitchhike-under-the-big-top
hitchhiking-to-heaven
hitchhiking-underneath-the-big-top
hold-the-bold
holding-the-sausage-hostage
holding-your-sausage-hostage
holding-my-own
holding-on-to-a-family-heirloom
hone-the-bone
hone the cone
honking-Bobo
hotdog-a-rama
hot-rod-it
housebreaking-the-cat
hug-the-hog
hump-the-horn
hump-the-hose
hump-your-fist
humping-air
humping-the-hose
humping the old hand
hurting-Burt-until-he-squirts
husk-it
ignite-the-lightsaber
in-hand
infanticide
inflating the zepplin
installing-a-burglar-alarm
invading-Poland
ironing-some-wrinkles
jack-and-jill-off-party
jack-hammer
jack-hammering
jack-off
jack-off-party
jack-off-session
jack-the-beanstalk
jack-the-corn
jack-the-joystick
jack-the-sack
jack-your-jizz
jack-yourself
jacking (off)
jacking-the-beanstalk
jag-off
jam-the-joystick
jazz-oneself
jazzing yourself
jeff-off
jerk
jerk-Jamby
jerk-jelly
jerk-job
jerk-off
jerk-the-gherkin
jerk-the-joint
jerk-the-johnson
jerk-the-mutton
jerk-the-rope
jerk-the-Turk
jerk-the-turkey
jerk-up
jerk-your-jewels
jerk-yourself-a-soda
jerkin's-hand-lotion
jerking-jamby
jerking-off
jerking the cherkin
jerking-the-gherkin
jerking-the-noodle
jerking-the-turkey
jerking-the-wheel
jiggle-the-jewelry
jiggling the branch to shake the nuts loose
jiggling-the-dice
jiggling the handle
jiggling-your-cockanballs
jimmying-the-joey
jiring-one's-wad
jizzlobbing
J/O (JO / j.o.)
J/O-scene
Jodrell-Bank
jog-off
jollification
juggling-the-coullions
juice-the-fruit
just hold it right there!
just-jerkin'-it
keep-a-date-with-bobby-palm-and-his-five-brother
keep-down-the-census
keep-the-census-down
kick-the-gong-around
kicking-seamen
killing-45-seconds
killing-it
knead-your-dough
kneading-the-knockwurst
knitting
knob
knob-polishing
knob-shining
knock-on-wood
knuckle-shuffle
knuckle-shuffle-on-the-ol'-piss-pump
knock-the-top-off
knuckling-the-bone
lark
lathering the latin love lance
launching-the-hand-shuttle
launching-the-head-of-a-world-cup-golfer
launching-the-tadpoles
leaking-the-main-drain
Levy-and-Frank
lightening-the-load
lighting-the-candle
lighting-the-pipe
little-pinky-hit-the-slinky
little-southern-romance
loading-the-cannon
local
looking-askance
looking-for-ticks
lope-the-mule
loves labors lost
loving-the-muppet
loving-thy-self
lube-the-cord
lubing-the-tube
lubricating the love-stick
lubricating the piston
M-and-M
maintaining-a-holding-pattern
make-a-bald-man-cry
make-a-milkshake
make-fist-kabobs
make-love-to-ones-fist
make-love-with-Mother-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters
make-love-with-Rosy-Palm-and-her-five-sisters
make-silly-with-the-Willy
make the bald-man puke
making-a-banana-spit
making-a-banana-split
making-a-deposit in the toilet bank of america
making-a-foreskin-cone
making a knuckle hot-dog
making-a-six-fist
making-duck-butter
making-friends-with-Big-Ed
making-instant-pudding
making-love-with-Miss-Right
making mayo
making-nut-butter
making-oyster-soup
making-the-bald-man-cry
making-the-scene-with-the-magazine
making-vanilla-jism-shakes
making-yogurt
making-yourself-at-home
mangling-the-midget
manipulating-the-mango
manning-the-cannon
manning-the-cockpit
manual-exercise(s)
manual-gratification
manual-job
manual-labor
manual-override
manual-persuasion
manual-pollution
manual-preference
manual-release
manual-sex
manual-titillation
manually-assisted-wet-dream
manustupration
manuxorate
masonic-secret-self-handshake
massage-the-fireman's-neck
massage-the-one-eyed-monk
massage-your-muscle
massage-your-purple-headed-warrior
master-bacon
maximize-your-potency
measuring the circumference of your penis
measuring-for-condoms
meet-Mrs.-Palmer-and-her-five-daughters
meet-your-right-hand-man
meeting-Mary-Palm-and-her-five-sisters
meeting-Rosie-Hancock
meeting-with-Mother-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters
messing-with-Moby
milk
milk it
milk-the-chicken
milk-the-lizard
milk-the-maggot
milking-one's-self
milking-the-bull
milking-the-cow
milking-the-moose
milking-the-musket
milking-the-weasel
milkywaying
minding-my-own-business
Miss-Fist
mix-up-a-batch
molesting-the-mole
monkey-slapping
monkey-spanking
mount-a-corporal-and-four
moving-into-a-one-bedroom-apartment
much-goo-about-nothing
mugging the kojak doll
mule-breeding
murder-the-Bishop
mustard-on-the-burger
nerking-the-throbber
night-club
ngocok
noiseless hobby
oiling-the-glove
oiling-the-pogo-stick
Onan's-Olympics
Onan up
onanera
one-eye-target-practice
one-gun-salute
one-hand-clapping
one-handed-clapping
one-legged-race
one man band
one-man-show
one-man-tug-o-war
one-off-the-wrist
one-stick-drum-improvisation
one-two
oscillating-the-Oscar-Meyer
owner operator
pack-the-palm
packaging-the-ol'-sausage
packing-the-palm
paddle-the-pickle
paddling my pork
paddling-the-peter
paddling-the-pickle
paddling-the-robin
paint-the-ceiling
painting-the-pickle
painting-the-walls
palm-it
Palmala-Handerson
palming-the-calm
parading the troops (corporal and five privates)
passing-math
pat-me-muller
pat-the-Robertson
patting the pooter
pause-that-refreshes,-the
paw-paw-tricks
peeling-the-banana
peeling-the-carrot
peeling-some-chilies
performing-a-self-test
performing-an-organ-solo
performing-diagnostics-on-your-mantool
perm-the-poodle
petting-the-lizard
petting the monkey
petting-the-snake
petting-the-Wookie
petting-your-dog
phoning-the-czar
pickle dancing
piddle-the-pud
pinch-the-cat
pink-piston-practice
pipping-the-pumpkin
pitch-a-knuckle-ball
play-a-flute-solo-on-one's-meat-whistle
play-billiards
play-pocket-billiards
play-pocket-pool
play-solitaire
play-the-bones
play-the-male-organ
play-the-piss-pipe
play-the-skin-flute
play-with-oneself
play with (your) Willy Wanker
playing-a-bass-solo
playing-a-little-five-on-one
playing-a-little-game-of-five-on-one
playing-a-one-stringed-guitar
playing-a-solo-on-the-meat-whistle
playing-chopsticks
playing five-against-one
playing-in-a-one-man-show
playing one arm bandit
playing one eyed bandit
playing-peek-a-boo-(with-Mr.-Johnson)
playing-pocket-pinball
playing-pocket-pool
playing rumple foreshin
playing-soapy-Peter
playing-solitaire
playing-tag-with-the-pink-torpedo
playing-the-fiddle
playing-the-flesh-flute
playing-the-flesh-trombone
playing-the-hairy-banjo
playing-the-man-flute
playing-the-one-stringed-melody
playing-the-pink-oboe
playing-the-skin-flute
playing-tug-o-war-with-the-cyclops
playing-uno
playing-with-dick
playing-with-it
playing with my yo yo
playing-with-oneself
playing-with-Susi-Palmer-and-her-five-friends
playing-with-the-pink-Power-Ranger
playing-with-the-spitting-llama
playing-with-the-turtle
playing with the upright organ
playing-with-your-big-Alien
playing with your 6 th finger
playing-Yahtzee
please-the-pisser
pleasing-the-pisser
pleasing the turtle
plucking-the-chicken
plunking-the-twanger
pocket-billiards
pocket-pinball
pocket-polka
pocket-pool
pocket-waltz
point-one's-social-finger
pole-vaulting
polish-the-bayonet
polish-the-chrome-dome
polish-the-horn
polish-the-knob
polish-the-log
polish-the-Oscar
polish-the-pole
polish-the-shooter
polish-the-viper
polishing-Charlie-Brown
polishing-Percy-in-your-palm
polishing-the-beak
polishing the cane
polishing-the-family-jewels
polishing-the-helmet
polishing-the-night-stick
polishing-the-pud
polishing-the-rocket
polishing-the-silver
polishing-the-sword
pollute
popping-a-nut
popping-the-cork
popping-the-purple-pimple
popping-the-zit
Portuguese pump(ing)
posh-wank
pound-it
pound-off
pound-the-bobo
pound-the-flounder
pound-the-meat
pound-the-peenie
pound-the-pork
pound-the-pud
pounding-off
pounding-the-bald-headed-moose
pounding-the-flounder
pounding the pepperoni
pounding-the-pud
pounding-the-pudding
pounding your pud
pow-wow-with-the-one-eyed-Redskin
practicing your mantra
practising
preparing-the-carrot
prime-it
prime-the-pump
prime-the-womb-cannon
priming-the-pump
prodding-the-half-cooked-pastrami
prompt-the-porpoise
prostate-maintenance
prune-the-fifth-limb
pub-the-dub
pud-pulling
pud-wrestling
pudwhacking
puff-the-one-eyed-dragon
pull it off
pull-off
pull-one-off
pull-one's-dong
pull-one's-joint
pull-one's-pud
pull-one's-wang
pull-oneself-off
pull-putz
pull-some-lumber
pull the ducks neck
pull-the-joint
pull-the-peter
pull-the-pope
pull-the-pork
pull-the-pudding
pull-the-pud
pull-the-pin
pull-the-pole
pull-the-root
pull-the-taffy
pull-the-wire
pull-wire
pull-your-prick
pulling-a-solo-session
pulling-on-Peter
pulling-off
pulling-rank
pulling-rank on private one-eye
pulling-the-bologna-pony
pulling the bull
pulling-the-carrot
pulling-the-colonel-sanders-heimleich-manuever
pulling-the-five-knuckle-shuffle
pulling-the-cord
pulling-the-goalie
pulling-the-handbrake
pulling-the-mule
pulling-the-pole
pulling-the-pope
pulling-the-pud
pulling-the-putz
pulling-the-taffy
pulling-the-weed
pulling-the-wire
pulling-your-prick
pulling-your-goalie
pulling-your-own-leg
pummel-the-love-truncheon
pummeling-the-priest
pump-off
pump-oneself-off
pump-one's-pickle
pump-ship
pump-the-monkey
pump-the-python
pumping-cream
pumping-for-pleasure
pumping-for-power
pumping-the-electric-goo-gun
pumping-the-gas-at-the-self-service-island
pumping-the-stump
punchin'-the-munchkin
punching-the-clown
punching-the-puppet
punish-Percy-in-the-palm
punish-the-Harlequin
punishing-the-pope
pushing-the-daisy-and-make-it-cum
qualifying-in-the-testicular-time-trial
R2-your-D2
raise-the-flag
raising-Lazarus-from-the-dead
raising-the-mainsail
rake-your-meat
ram-the-ham
rank
rapid-one-arm-pull-ups
raping your hand
ravage-the-innocent
reading-poetry
reading-with-one-hand
relieve-oneself
relieving oneself
relieving-tension
returning-to-sender
ride-the-great-white-knuckler
riding-the-great-white-knuckler
ringing-for-the-elevator
rise and fall of Peter the Great, the
roasting-chestnuts
rod-walloping
rodgering
rodding
rogering
rolling-your-own
rolling-the-fleshy-blunt
Roman-helmet-rumba
romancing-Lady-Five-Fingers
romancing-the-bone
Romeo-and-himself
ropin' the long horn
roping-the-pony
roping-the-pope
roughing-up-the-suspect
rowing-the-boat
rub
rub-it-off
rub-off
rub-off-by-hand
rub-one-out
rub one's...
rub oneself
rub-the-knob
rub-the-(little)-head
rub-the-magic-lamp
rub-the-radish
rub-the-tub
rub-up
rubbing one off
rubbing-one-out
rubbing-the-magic-one-eyed-wonder-weasel
rubbing-the-pink-eraser
rubbing-the-rod
run-a-batch
run-one's-hand-up-the-flagpole
run-off-by-hand
running a batch (off by hand)
running-off-a-batch-by-hand
running-Peter-through-two-a-days
running-the-cheeta
running-the-100-yard-dash
running-the-whack-a-thon
sacrificing-sperm-to-the-god-of-lonely-nights
sailors'-joy
salute-the-sailor
saluting Captain Winky
saluting the commander
saluting the general
sanding-the-banister
sanding the woody
sanding-wood
schnauzer-shuffleboard
schplitzing-the-schmeckel
scouring-the-tower-of-power
scraping-the-horn
screw-off
se-branler
se-crosser
se-faire-les-cinq-doigts-de-la-main
se-passer-un-poignet
secret-handshake
secret-indulgence
secret-sin
secret-vice
see-Madam(e)-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters
self-inflicted-intercourse
self-induced-penile-regurgitation
serta-solo
setting-off-a-depth-charge
sew
sewing-circle
shag
shagging
shake
shake-hands-with-the-governor
shake-hands-with-the-wife's-best-friend
shake-it-up
shake-the-snake
shake-the-weasel
shaking-hands-with-Abraham-Lincoln
shaking-hands-with-Jack-Mcnasty
shaking-hands-with-Little-Elvis
shaking-hands-with-Mr.-Happy
shaking-hands-with-Mr.-President
shaking hands with Mr. Winkie
shaking-hands-with-Shorty
shaking-hands-with-the-General
shaking-hands-with-the-guy-that-stood-up-when-I-got-married
shaking-hands-with-the-midget
shaking-hands-with-the-wife's-best-friend
shaking-hands-with-the-unemployed
shaking-hands-with-your-John-Thomas
shaking-hands-with-Yul-Brenner
shaking-the-bottle
shaking-the-dice
shaking the dew off the water lily
shaking-the-hand-of-the-self-employed
shaking-the-hand-of-the-unemployed
shaking-the-sauce
shaking-the-snake
shaking-the-sausage
shaking-your-fist-at-the-sky
shaking-your-hand-at-the-sky
shaking-your-(own)-maracas
shanking
share-one's-bed
share a/the sexual-embrace
sharpening the beaver-cleaver
sharpening the pencil
she-bop
shellacking-the-shellaleigh
shemping-the-hog
Sherman
Sherman-tank
shift-gears
shifting-gears
shifting-into-first-gear
shine-the-pole
shining-the-helmet
shining-the-pole
shining-the-pork-sword
shining the shaft
shoot-between-wind-and-water
shoot-in-the-tail
shoot-skeet
shoot-the-cat
shooting-flies
shooting-for-the-moon
shooting-putty-at-the-moon
shooting-tadpoles-at-the-moon
short-strokes
shuck-the-corn
shuffle one out
shuffle-the-deck
simmulation
simple-infanticide
sing-with-Rosie
sing-an-aria
single-dingles
skanking the pickle
skeet-shooting
skin-the-bone
skin-the-lizard
slaking-the-bacon
slam-the-ham
slam-the-spam
slamming-the-ham
slamming-the-hammer
slamming-the-salami
slamming-the-salmon
slamming-the-spam
slap-boxing the one-eyed champ
slap-the-hammer
slap-the-little-head
slap-the-wapper
slapping-high-fives-with-Yul-Brynner
slapping-it
slapping-pappy
slapping-the-big-nosed-rasta-man
slapping-the-Cap'n
slapping-the-carrot
slapping-the-clown
slapping-the-donkey
slapping-the-fleshgopher
slapping-the-pud
slapping-the-purple-headed-yogurt-pistol
slapping-the-salami
slaughter-of-the-innocent
slaying-the-one-eyed-monster
slicking the willy
slide-the-shaft
slimmer
sling-one's-jelly
sling-one's-juice
slinging-the-jelly
slipping-yourself-a-mickey
slog-the-log
slopping-the-hogs
sloppy-sign-language
smacking-off
smacking-the-oompa-loompa
smacking-the-salami
smacking-the-sausage
smacking-the-weasel
smacking-your-sister
smash-the-stake
smoking-hooch-with-reagan
smoking the marlboro man
snap
snap-the-rubber
snapping-one-off
snapping-the-carrot
snapping-the-monkey
snapping-the-rubber
snapping-the-twig
snapping-the-whip
snuggle-the-nozzle
soldier's-joy
solitary-vice
solitary-sin
solo-flight
solo-marathon
solo-sex
solo-spit
spackling-the-ceiling
spam-wham
spank-the-bishop
spank-the-carrot
spank-the-hangdown
spank-the-little-boy
spank-the-wank
spank-the-wife's-best-friend
spanking-cheetah
spanking-Elvis
spanking-the-bishop
spanking-the-frank
spanking-the-monkey
spanking-the-salami
spear-chucking
sperm manicure, the
spit-polishing-the-purple-helmet
spit-one-off
spit-the-seeds
spraying-the-spectators
spreading-the-mayo
spunk-the-monk
spunking
squeeze-it-off
squeeze-off
squeezing-the-cheese
squeezing the cream (filling) from the (flesh) twinkie
squeezing-the-creamy-filter
squeezing-the-juice
squeezing-the-lemon
squeezing-the-squid
squeezing-the-weasel
squirt-n-spurt
squirt-one-off
squirt-seed
squirting-the-seed
stacking-the-deck
staff-meeting
stir-the-stew
stirring-the-batter
straddle-the-paddle
strain-the-main-vein
strain-the-vein
straining-the-spaghetti
strangle-Kojak .
strangle-the-dangle
strangle-the-stogie
strangle-Yoda
strangling-the-serpent
stretching-the-muscle
stretching the silly putty
strike-the-pink-match
stroke
stroke-off
stroke-oneself
stroke-the-beef
stroke-the-bloke
stroke-the-dog
stroke-the-lizard
stroke-the-poker
stroke-the-purple-nosed-gusset-ferret
stroke-the-stallion
stroke-the-string
stroke-the-Wookie
stroke-your-ego
strokem-your-scrotum
stroking-it
stroking-off
stroking-the-dog
stroking-the-loaf
stroking-the-lizard
stroking-the-mole
stroking-the-one-eyed-burping-gecko
stroking-the-poker
stroking-the-satin-headed-serpent
stroking-the-schlong
stroking-the-scoobie
stroking-the-squirmin'-german
stroking-the-twinkie
stroking-the-wiener
stropping-the-beak
stropping-the-mulligan
strum-the-ol'-banjo
strumming-the-banjo
suffocate-the-organ
summon-the-genie
summoning-the-semen-demon
surfing-on-the-Milky-Highway
Swedish
sweep-off
swordfighting
syphon-the-python
taffy-tugger
taffy-pulling-contest
take-a-beating
take-a-load-off-your-mind
take-a-ride-on-the-mean-spanking-machine
take-Captain-Picard-to-warp-speed
take-down-(by-hand)
take-in-hand
take-matters-into-your-own-hands
take-ol'-stiff-neck-to-the-movies
take-oneself-in-hand
taking-a-nap
taking-a-shake-break
taking-care-of-business
taking-Herman-to-the-circus
taking-matters-into-one's-own-hands
taking-ol'-one-eye-through-the-fly
taking-part-in-population-control
taking-some-time-off
taking-the-Jocelyn-Elders-midterm
taking-the-monster-for-a-one-armed-ride
talking-quietly-to-yourself
tame-the-bald-headed-mouse
tame-the-beef-weasel
tame-the-monster
taming-the-animal
taming-the-shrew
taming the snake
tango-con-mano
tap-dance
tap-dancing
taunting-the-one-eyed-weasel
TCB
teach-our-children-to-fly
teach-your-dog-to-spit
teach-Yule-Brenner-some-respect
tease-the-python
teasing-the-weenie
teasing-the-weasel
tee-off
tenderizing-the-meat
tenderizing-the-tube-steak
tenderizing your piece of pork
test-the-flashlight
testicular-tensile-strength-test
testing old faithful
testing out the magic love wand
testing-the-batteries
testing-the-testicles
that-crazy-hand-jive
there's always a solution at hand
thrap(e)
thrapping
throttle-kojak
throttle-the-turkey
throw-the-ball-around
throwing-(one)
thump-the-pump
thump-the-pumper
tickle one's cock
tickle-the-pickle
tickling old-one-eye
tickling-the-one-eyed-weasel
tickling-the-pickle
tonking
toot-the-flute
tooting-the-horn
torking-the-fork
torking-the-power-rod
torment-the-trouser-trout
torquing-the-taliwacker
torquing-the-wrench
torturing-the-tentacle
toss-him-off
toss-it-off
toss-off
toss-the-boss
tossing-off
tossing-the-caber
tossing-the-ham-javelin
tossing-the-salad
tossing-the-snag
tossing-the-turkey
tossing-yogurt
train-the-love-porpoise
treating-yourself-right
triborgasmia
trolling-for-flames
tromboning
trouser-olympics
trouser-snake-CPR
trying-to-make-One-Eyed-Willy-puke
trying to pull something off
tug-o-war with the (ol') cyclops
tugging-the-slug
tugging-the-tapioca-tube
tuning-the-fork
tuning-the-horn
turn-the-knob
turning-japanese
turning-on,-tuning-in-and-dropping-out
tussle with your muscle
twang-the-wire
tweak-the-twiddle
tweak-the-twinkie
tweaking-the-twinkie
twirl-the-squirrel
twist-the-turnip
twisting-the-crank
twisting-the-piston
twisting-the-tool
unclog-the-pipes
unclogging-the-sink
unleash-the-fury
unloading-passengers-from-the-five-car-train
unloading-the-gun
Uncle-Frank
unrolling the turtle neck
unsheathing-the-pork-sword
unsheathing the shlong
uprooting-the-big-mushroom
using the force (on Darth Vader)
vanilla puke session
varnish-one's-cane
varnish-the-cane
varnish-the-pole
varnish-the-stick
varnishing-the-flagpole
verifying your manhood
violating-the-hedge-hog
visit-Mary-Thumb-and-her-four-daughters
visit-Mrs.-Palm-and-her-5-daughters
visit-Rosy-Palm-and-her-five-daughters
visiting Merry (or Mary) Palmer
visiting Mother Thumb and her four daughters
visiting-the-notary-public
wack (off)
wack-the-weasel
wack-your-squack
wacker
wacking-off
wacking-the-one-eyed-worm
wacking-the-weasel
wacking-the-willie
wacking-Wee-Willie-Wonka
wackomatic
waking-the-dead
walk-the-dog
walking-old-one-eye
walking the bearded one-eyed love dog
walking-the-dog
walking the one eyed dog
walking-the-paraket
walking-the-plank
walking-the-snake
walking-Willie-the-one-eyed-wonder-worm
wallop-the-sausage
wallop-the-weiner
waltz-with-Willy
wang-off
wank
wank-off
wank-on-it
wank-the-crank
wanker-the-anchor
wanking-(off)
wanking-one-eyed-Willy
wanking-the-one-eyed-wonder-worm
wanking-the-scube
wanking-with-the-one-eyed-wonder-weasel
wapping-your-weenie
warming-up-the-altar-boys'-dinner
wash-the-cosh
washing-the-goose's-neck
washing-the-hog
washing-the-lighthouse
washing-the-meat
waste-a-short-time
waste-time
wasting-babies
watch-the-eyelid-movies
wave-the-wand
waving-the-magic-wand
wax-the-beam
wax-the-bean
wax-the-board
wax-the-Buick
wax-the-candle-stick
wax-the-carrot
wax-the-dolphin
wax-the-womb-broom
waxing-the-car
waxing-the-carrot
waxing the pole
waxing-the-surfboard
waxing-the-t-bird
wearing-a-fat-guys-slacks
whack
whack-it
whack-little-Mac
whack-off
whack-the-bishop
whack-the-pud
whack-the-yak
whack-your-Magic-Johnson
whacking-it
whacking-off
whacking the one-eyed-worm
whacking-the-weasel
whacking-Wee-Willie-Winkie
whacking-willy
whacking your pud
whank
whank-off
whank-pit
whipping the snot out of one-eyed goofy
whiffing-an-easy-fairway-shot
whip-it
whip-off
whip-the-cat
whip-the-devil
whip-the-dripper
whip-the-dummy
whip-the-weenie
whip-the-wire
whip-the-worm
whipping-dripping
whipping-off
whipping-the-bishop
whipping-the-dripper
whipping-the-dummy
whipping-the-one-eyed-trouser-snake
whipping the pony
whipping the rat
whipping-the-stiff
whipping-the-weasel
whipping-the-wire
whipping up some baby batter
whipping-up-some-sour-cream
whipping-Willy-the-one-eyed-wonder-worm
whipping-your-Willy
white-water wristing
whittle-the-wood
whittling-Dixie
whittling-the-stick
whiz-the-jizzum
whizzing-jism
whizzing-the-jism
whizzing the jizzum
wienering
wiggling-the-worm
Willie-and-the-hand-jive
Willy Wonkin'
winding-the-jack-in-the-box
winding-the-Wurlitzer
windsurf-on-Mount-Baldy
winning a taffy-pulling-contest
wobbling my woodle
wonk-your-conker
work (oneself) off
workin'-the-jerkin
working-in-the-garden
working-off
working-off-a-batch
working-out-a-stiff-joint
working-your-willy
worshiping-the-finger-prince
worshiping-the-fist-prince
worshipping the white god of seed
wrench-off
wrestle-the-bald-headed-champion
wrestle-the-cyclops
wrestling-the-bald(-headed)-champion
wrestling-the-cyclops
wrestling-the-eel
wrestling-the-one-eyed-monster
wrestling-the-purple-headed-warrior
wrestling the snake
wrestling-with-the-bald(-headed)-champ
wrestling-with-the-blue-veined-custard-chucker
wring-the-rattlesnake
wringing (the cheesy bell)
wringing-out-the-rope
wrist-aerobics
wrist-job
wrist-off
wristing
yang-the-wang
yank
yank-off
yank-the-crank
yank-the-dork
yank-the-doodle
yank-the-plank
yank-the-shlong
yank-the-strap
yank-the-wang
yank-the-Yoda
yank-the-yak
yank-the-yam
yank-your-strap
yank-your-wank
yank-yourself-(off)
Yankee-your-Wankee
yanking the penal cord
yanking-the-plank
yanking-the-yoyo
yanking
yanking-off
yanking-the-crank
yucking your choad


See Also: a date with Manuela, a date with Senorita Mano, a visit from Mother Fist, balls deep into your fist, celebrating Palm Sunday, cranking the corona, dating the Palm sisters, dating Thumbalina and her four sisters, dating Manuella, dong flogging, fanny fumbling, firing off a round, five finger exercise(s), fist flick, flog it, flogging your dumber brother, ham-boning, hand solo, handling the hard on, jack hammering, knuckle shuffle, monkey-slapping, monkey-spanking, onanera, one-eye target practice, pud wrestling, pud-pulling, rod-walloping, sailors' joy, slaking the bacon, squirt-n-spurt, stretching the muscle, taming goliath, tossing off, visit Rosy Palm and her five daughters, visit Mary Thumb and her four daughters, wack your squack, wack the weasel, Willie and the hand jive, worshiping the finger prince, worshiping the fist prince, wringing (it), yanking, yank the wang, yank the shlong, yank the Yoda, yank the dork, wringing out the rope, wristing, wrist aerobics, yank the crank, working off a batch, worshiping the white god of seed, wrestling the bald(-headed) champion, wrestle the bald-headed champion, wrestling the one-eyed monster, wrestling the cyclops, workin' the jerkin, working off, working your willy, working out a stiff joint, wrestle the cyclops, wrestling the eel, wrestling with the blue-veined custard chucker, wrestling the purple headed warrior, wrestling with the bald(-headed) champ, wrist job, wringing the cheesy bell, winding the jack in the box, winding the Wurlitzer, windsurf on Mount Baldy, wonk the conker, wonk your conker, wonking the donk, waxing the surfboard, wax the womb-broom, whank off, wonking the conker, whip the cat, whiffing an easy fairway shot, whip the dripper, whip the worm, whip the wire, whip the devil, whipping the dummy, whip the weenie, whip the dummy, whipping dripping, whipping the one-eyed trouser snake, whipping up some sour cream, whipping the bishop, whipping your Willy, whipping Willy the one-eyed wonder-worm, whipping the wire, whipping the dripper, whipping the weasel, whipping the stiff, whizzing jism, white water wristing, whittling the stick, whittle the wood, whizzing the jism, whittling Dixie, whiz the jizzum, Yankee your Wankee, yanking the yoyo, yank the strap, yank the plank, yank the yam, yanking the plank, yank the doodle, yank the yak, yanking the crank, yucking your choad, wiggling the worm, visiting Merry Palmer, visiting the notary public, wacking off, wacking the willie, wacking the one-eyed worm, wacking Wee Willie Wonka, wacking the weasel, walking the dog, walking the plank, walk the dog, walking old one-eye, waltz with Willy, walking the snake, walking Willie the one eyed wonder worm, unclogging the sink, tweak the twinkie, twisting the piston, twirl the squirrel, twisting the tool, twist the turnip, twisting the crank, unloading the gun, unloading passengers from the five-car train, unleash the fury, unsheathing the pork sword, uprooting the big mushroom, using the force on Darth Vader, varnishing the flagpole, violating the hedge-hog, wanking with the one-eyed wonder weasel, wanking the one-eyed wonder worm, wanking one-eyed Willy, wanking the scube, wapping your weenie, wank the crank, warming up the altar boys' dinner, wash the cosh, washing the hog, washing the goose's neck, washing the lighthouse, washing the meat, wanker the anchor, wave the wand, wax the Buick, waxing the t-bird, wax the dolphin, waxing the car, waxing the carrot, wax the carrot, wearing a fat guys slacks, whack little Mac, whacking willy, whacking the weasel, whacking off, whacking Wee Willie Winkie, tossing the salad, train the love porpoise, turning japanese, turning on, tuning in and dropping out, tweaking the twinkie, trolling for flames, trouser olympics, trouser snake CPR, trying to make One-Eyed Willy puke, tugging the slug, tugging the tapioca tube, tuning the horn, tuning the fork, thump the pumper, thump the pump, tickle the pickle, tickling the one-eyed weasel, tonking, tooting the horn, toot the flute, torking the power rod, torment the trouser trout, torking the fork, torquing the taliwacker, toss the boss, torquing the wrench, teach our children to fly, teasing the weasel, teasing the weenie, torturing the tentacle, tossing the caber, tossing the turkey, toss it off, tossing the ham javelin, tossing yogurt, tossing the snag, taunting the one-eyed weasel, teach your dog to spit, taming the animal, taming the shrew, tango con mano, tenderizing the meat, tenderizing the tube steak, testing the batteries, test the flashlight, testing the testicles, testicular tensile strength test, that crazy hand jive, thrapping, taking a nap, taking Herman to the circus, taking a trip south, taking matters into one's own hands, taking old one-eye to the optometrist, taking a shake break, taking ol' one eye through the fly, taking the old skin boat to tuna town, taking the monster for a one-armed ride, taking some time off, take Captain Picard to warp speed, take ol' stiff neck to the movies, taking the Jocelyn Elders midterm, pub the dub, talking quietly to yourself, strike the pink match, stroking the lizard, strokem your scrotum, stroke the Wookie, stroking it, stroke your ego, stroking off, stroking the loaf, stroke the purple-nosed gusset ferret, stroking the scoobie, stroking the satin-headed serpent, stroking the schlong, stroking the poker, stroking the dog, stroking the twinkie, stroking the wiener, stropping the mulligan, stroking the squirmin' german, stropping the beak, strum the ol' banjo, strumming the banjo, summon the genie, summoning the semen demon, stroking the one-eyed burping gecko, stroking the mole, surfing on the Milky Highway, taffy-pulling contest, take a ride on the mean spanking machine, take a load off your mind, squeezing the cream from the twinkie, squeezing the lemon, spit-polishing the purple helmet, spraying the spectators, spunking, spunk the monk, spank the wife's best friend, spank the carrot, spanking the bishop, spanking the salami, spanking the frank, spanking Elvis, spear chucking, squeezing the weasel, squeezing the squid, squeezing the juice, squeezing the creamy filter, staff meeting, stacking the deck, stirring the batter, straddle the paddle, strain the main vein, strangle the dangle, strangle Kojak, strangle Yoda, straining the spaghetti, strangling the serpent, strangle the stogie, slamming the spam, slap the wapper, slamming the salmon, slamming the salami, slamming the ham, slap the hammer, sling one's jelly, sling one's juice, slipping yourself a mickey, slinging the jelly, slopping the hogs, slog the log, sloppy sign language, smacking the sausage, smacking your sister, smacking the weasel, smacking the salami, smoking hooch with reagan, smacking the oompa loompa, smacking-off, snapping the rubber, snapping one off, snapping the carrot, snap the rubber, snapping the twig, snapping the monkey, snapping the whip, snuggle the nozzle, solitary vice, soldier's joy, solitary sin, spank the wank, spank the hangdown, spank the little boy, spank the bishop, spanking cheetah, shooting (off) the muck, shooting for the moon, shooting putty at the moon, shooting tadpoles at the moon, shuffling the Kit-Kat, shuck the corn, shuffle the deck, shellacking the shellaleigh, shining the pork sword, shifting gears, shine the pole, shining the pole, shining the helmet, shooting flies, single dingles, slamming the hammer, slap the little head, slapping it, slapping the pud, slapping high fives with Yul Brynner, slapping the donkey, slapping the clown, slapping pappy, slapping the fleshgopher, slapping the Cap'n, slapping the carrot, slapping the salami, slapping the big-nosed rasta man, slaughter of the innocent, slaying the one-eyed monster, slapping the purple headed yogurt pistol, running the whack-a-thon, running the 100-yard dash, sacrificing sperm to the god of lonely nights, running off a batch by hand, run one's hand up the flagpole, running Peter through two-a-days, running the cheeta, shaking hands with the wife's best friend, shaking hands with Abraham Lincoln, shake it up, shemping the hog, shifting into first gear, shaking hands with Jack Mcnasty, shaking hands with Mr. Happy, shaking hands with the General, shaking the bottle, shaking hands with the guy that stood up when I got married, shanking, shaking hands with the midget, shaking the snake, shaking the sausage, shaking hands with Little Elvis, shaking hands with Shorty, shaking the dice, shaking hands with the unemployed, shaking your hand at the sky, shaking the sauce, shaking your (own) maracas, shaking hands with Yul Brenner, shaking hands with your John Thomas, shaking the hand of the self-employed, shaking hands with Mr. President, shaking your fist at the sky, shaking the hand of the unemployed, pumping for power, pulling your goalie, pumping for pleasure, pumping the gas at the self-service island, pumping cream, pump the monkey, pummeling the priest, rapid one arm pull-ups, ravage the innocent, reading poetry, returning to sender, ride the great white knuckler, riding the great white knuckler, ringing for the elevator, roasting chestnuts, rubbing one out, rubbing the rod, rubbing the pink eraser, rubbing the magic one-eyed wonder weasel, sanding wood, sanding the banister, informal values, schplitzing the schmeckel, schnauzer shuffleboard, scouring the tower of power, scraping the horn, se crosser, se faire les cinq doigts de la main, se branler, se passer un poignet, secret handshake, secret vice, see Madam(e) Thumb and her four daughters, self-induced penile regurgitation, serta solo, setting off a depth charge, setting the oysters, rolling the fleshy blunt, rolling your own, romancing Lady Five Fingers, Roman helmet rumba, Romeo and himself, romancing the bone, roping the long horn, roping the pony, roping the pope, roughing up the suspect, pump the python, punishing the pope, punish Percy in the palm, punching the puppet, punchin' the munchkin, punish the Harlequin, pumping the electric goo gun, punching the clown, punish the penguin, pushing the daisy and make it cum, qualifying in the testicular time trial, R2 your D2, raising the mainsail, pudwhacking, pull the pin, pull the pope, pulling off, pulling the colonel sanders heimleich manuever, pulling the cord, pulling the bologna pony, pulling the five-knuckle shuffle, pulling the carrot, pulling on Peter, pulling the handbrake, pulling the weed, pulling the goalie, pulling the pole, pummel the love truncheon, pulling your prick, pulling the wire, pulling the taffy, pull the duck's neck, pulling the pope, pulling the putz, pulling your own leg, pulling the mule, pulling the pud, pumping the stump, pow-wow with the one-eyed Redskin, pounding the flounder, preparing the carrot, prime the pump, priming the pump, prime the womb cannon, producing whore moans, prodding the half-cooked pastrami, prompt the porpoise, prostate maintenance, petting the Wookie, petting your dog, petting the snake, phoning the czar, piddle the pud, pink piston practice, popping the purple pimple, Portuguese pump, plunking the twanger, pounding off, pounding the pud, pounding the bald-headed moose, pounding the pudding, playing a one-stringed guitar, playing peek-a-boo (with Mr. Johnson), playing tag with the pink torpedo, playing a little game of five on one, playing in a one-man show, playing the flesh trombone, playing the fiddle, playing a solo on the meat whistle, playing with the turtle, playing Yahtzee, pleasing the pisser, playing with your 6th finger, plucking the chicken, point one's social finger, polish the horn, polishing Charlie Brown, polish the chrome dome, polish the bayonet, polish the Oscar, polish the viper, polish the pole, polishing the family jewels, polishing Percy in your palm, polishing the night stick, polishing the pud, polish the shooter, polishing the helmet, polishing the beak, polishing the rocket, polish the log, polishing the sword, polishing the silver, popping the zit, one gun salute, Onan's Olympics, one-legged race, one man show, one man tug-o-war, one-stick drum improvisation, one-two, one off the wrist, moving into a one-bedroom apartment, much goo about nothing, mule breeding, murder the Bishop, nerking the throbber, oiling the pogo stick, oiling the glove, packaging the ol' sausage, packing the palm, paint the ceiling, paddling the robin, painting the pickle, palming the calm, paddling the pickle, painting the walls, Palmala Handerson, passing math, paddle the pickle, paddling the peter, paw-paw tricks, peeling the banana, peeling the chile, peeling the carrot, peeling some chilies, performing a self-test, performing diagnostics on your mantool, performing for Mr. Swaggart, performing an organ solo, pipping the pumpkin, pitch a knuckle ball, play a flute solo on one's meat whistle, playing the one-stringed melody, playing a little five-on-one, playing the hairy banjo, playing the pink oboe, playing the flesh flute, playing the man-flute, playing a bass solo, playing soapy Peter, playing with dick, playing with the man in the boat, playing the skin flute, playing pocket pinball, playing with it, playing uno, playing with Susi Palmer and her five friends, playing tug-o-war with the cyclops, playing with the spitting llama, playing with your big Alien, playing with the pink Power Ranger, knuckling the bone, launching the hand shuttle, launching the head of a world-cup golfer, launching the tadpoles, leaking the main drain, lightening the load, lighting the pipe, lighting the candle, little pinky hit the slinky, loading the cannon, looking for ticks, jerk job, jerkin's hand lotion, juggling the coullions, kicking seamen, killing it, kneading the knockwurst, jerking the wheel, jerking the noodle, jerk the gherkin, jerking the gherkin, jerking the turkey, jerking jamby, jiggling the dice, jiggling your cockanballs, jimmying the joey, jiring one's wad, J.O., jizzlobbing, J/O scene, installing a burglar alarm, invading Poland, ironing some wrinkles, jacking, jam the joystick, jacking off, jacking the beanstalk, holding your sausage hostage, holding on to a family heirloom, holding my own, holding the sausage hostage, hotdog-a-rama, housebreaking the cat, honking Bobo, humping air, humping the hose, hurting Burt until he squirts, ignite the lightsaber, make fist-kabobs, make love with Rosy Palm and her five sisters, make love with Mother Thumb and her four daughters, making a banana spit, make silly with the Willy, making a banana split, making a foreskin cone, making instant pudding, making the bald man puke, making duck butter, making nut butter, making oyster soup, making love with Miss Right, making yogurt, making the scene with the magazine, making friends with Big Ed, making the bald man cry, making a six-fist, making vanilla jism shakes, making yourself at home, mangling the midget, manning the cockpit, manipulating the mango, manning the cannon, manual preference, manual labor, manually-assisted wet dream, manustupration, manual job, manual pollution, manual override, masonic secret self handshake, massage your purple-headed warrior, massage the fireman's neck, master bacon, massage your muscle, massage the one-eyed monk, maximize your potency, measuring for condoms, meet Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters, meeting with Mother Thumb and her four daughters, meeting Mary Palm and her five sisters, meet your right-hand man, meeting Rosie Hancock, messing with Moby, milk the chicken, milk the maggot, milk the lizard, milking the cow, milking the bull, love's labors lost, loving the muppet, lubing the tube, maintaining a holding pattern, milking the musket, milking the moose, milkywaying, milking the weasel, minding my own business, keep a date with bobby palm and his five brother, hand gallop, molesting the mole, hand work, hands on training, handful of pleasure, a, hand shandy, handy work, hanging the old man, hanging five, hard labor, having a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake, having a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters, having a ball, having a date with Fisty Palmer, having a five-knuckle-shuffle, having an arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel, having a J. Arthur, hand fuck, hand jive, hand labor, hand jig, hand game, hand to gland combat, having a ham shank, having a tug-of-war with the cyclops, having one off the wrist, having a whack attack, having a one-night-stand with yourself, having a sherman, having a roy, helping the python shed its skin, herkin' the gherkin, have a date with a handkerchief, hit on Rosy Palm, hitchhiking underneath the big top, Han Solo, hack the hog, hack the mack, ham shank, gripping the pencil, grip the gorilla, grip the tip, gripping Flipper, growing hair on the palms, gushing the geyser, grappling the gorilla, greasing the pipe, greasing the flagpole, greasing your bone, grinding the goo shooter, gallop the maggot, gallop the old lizard, galloping the lizard, gallop the goose, frosting the pastries, going on a date with Palmela, going a couple of rounds with Ol' Josh, going on a date with Handrea, going eye to eye with Johnny Hung, going on a date with Rosey Palm and the five daughters, going with Ms. Thumb & her four daughters, going on Peewee's little adventure, going out with Mother Thumb and her four daughters, going on the blow, going on the dole, flogging the frog, flogging the hog, flub the dub, flute solo, fly fishing, fondling the fig, freeing Willy, flog the infidel, flogging the poodle, fist kebabing 101, fist of fury, flipping the bishop, flick the BIC, flogging the mule, getting a little off-hand, getting a date with slick mittens, getting a hold of yourself, getting in touch with your manhood, getting gnarly with the knudster, getting chafed, getting a grip on things, getting in touch with yourself, getting the glue stick, getting stripped of your grammy, getting the german soldier marching, getting your palm read by Mister Softee, getting your palm read, getting your pole varnished, gherkin-jerking, getting your caps peeled, getting your end away, gilding the lily, flogging your pride, flogging the salami, frigging the love muscle, fuck palmala, giving Yul Brenner the high-five, giving the general a five-finger salute, glazing the knuckle, gluing the lady's eye shut, go back to the wig-wam and beat the tom-tom, go a couple rounds with the champ(ion), fishing for zipper trout, five finger boogie on the blue vein, five-knuckle-shuffle (on the old piss pump), five on one, flapping takkie, flaying the emperor, five finger discount, five fingers against one penis, five-finger solo, five against one, five finger lingo, five finger knuckle shuffle, five against Willy, five knuckle olympics, firing the flesh musket, firm the worm, fishing for trouser trout, fist fucking the piss pump, file the fun-rod, filling up the belly button well, fire the wobbly warhead, firing the surgeon general, downing at the club (for members only), feed the spunk-o-meter, feel in one's pocket for one's big hairy rocket, feeding your trouser-mouse, feeding the chooks, fidget the midget, faxing Jimmy Dean, faxing the pope, draining the monster, draining the poisons from the building, drilling for oil in your own backyard, driving the skin bus, engaging in internal revenue service, erupting Vesuvius, erupting the volcano, escorting the one-eyed postal worker out of its denim cell, evicting the testicular squatters, excercise your rights, experiencing men-o-paws, doing it your way, doing the solitary rhumba, doing the white knuckler, doing the human version of autoexec.bat, dropping a line, dropping stomach pancakes, dry humping the ottoman, dundering the devil, dusting the old trophy, educating Peter, electing the president, encapsulate your probe, decongesting the weasel, defrosting the fridge, 5-digit disco, date Miss Michigan, diddling the dinky, digitally oscillating the penis, digital manipulation of the coital apparatus, dinging the dong, dinky the slinky, disciplining the primate, disseminating, do the Han Solo, docking in shuttle bay 5, doddle whacking, doing battle with the purple helmeted warrior of love, doing handiwork, doing hard time in the hand slammer, doing the five knuckle shuffle, doing the five knuckle chuckle, doing the pork sword jiggle, doing the janitor thing, doing the hand jive, culture the American Blood Sausage, cum the scum, Custer's last stand, dance with Johnnie One-eye, creaming the cheese, create an arch, creaming the twinkie, crimping the wire, crown the king, cuddling the kielbasa, clamming the engram, colonel sanders heimleich maneuver, cracking nuts, cracking the bat, changing your oil, charming the snake, charm the cobra, cheat the meat, bleed the goose, bloating the vein, bucking it, capturing the bishop, carrying weight, catching a case of whackinitis, buff the pylon, buffing the magic lamp, buff the mushroom, buff the dog, buffing, buffing the wood, buffing the banana, buffing the helmet, buffing the bishop, buffing the rifle, buggering the hand, bury the weenie, burp the baldman, burp the worm, burping the baby, burping the worm, bury the salami, buttering the muffin, buttering the corn, calling all cum, calling down for more mayo, chicken-grabbing, chipping wood, choking the bald guy until he pukes, choke the gopher, choking Kojak, choking the chipmunk, choke hold, choke the chook, choking Charlie 'till he throws up, choking the sheriff and waiting for the posse to come, cleaning the rifle, cleaning the storm-drains, climbing Mount Baldy, climbing the tree, clobbering the kleenex, closing the deal, closet frisbee, clubbing eddy, coating prince william sound with love oil, cock the cannon, coming to grips with yourself, consult Dr. Jerkoff, conking the cardinal, converse with Harry Palm, cooking the cream of cock, corralling the tadpoles, couch hockey for one, banging the drum, biffing off, big date with Rosy Palms, big stroke time, bishoprage, beating off, beating the boner, beating the old man, beating the piss outta my best friend, beating the bishop, beating the bologna, beating the meat, beating the bed flute, beating the pud, beating the bait, beating your meat on the toilet seat, beating the snake, beef-stroke-it-off, bludgeon the beefsteak, blowing your own horn, blue-vein shuffle, bob the bologna, bobbing the boloney, bologna bop, bollock service, bombing the German helmet, bopping the bologna, bopping the bonzo, bop the mop, bopping Richard, bopping the bishop, boxing the Bozak, boxing with Richard, boxing the bald champ, boxing the bald-headed clown, boxing the clown, boxing the ballsack, assault on a friendly weapon, attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior, auditioning the hand puppet, bachelor's delight, backstroke roulette, addressing Mr. Palmer, adjusting your set, ambidexterity, answer the bone-a-phone, applying the hand brake, applying for a fishing liscence, arm aerobics, arm breaker, armswinging, bashing the dummy, bashing the candle, bashing the bishop, bat off, batting practice, battling the purple-helmeted warrior, beat, beat meat, beat one's little brother, beat Pete, beat the bald-headed bandit, beat the dork, beat the tom-tom, beat the bishop, beat the goose, beat the hog, beat the pup, beat the pud, beating it with a smile on your face, beat your meat like it owes you money, armswing, arthur, articulate the archdeacon, ball off, balling off, accosting the Oscar Meyer, activating cruise control, brandle, break one off, bring down (by hand), bring up by hand, bring off by hand, bop the baloney, body rub, bell polishing, bequeath your genes, blanket drill, bang the bishop, bank with Barclays, bang the banjo, bang the wanger, court Madam Knuckle, crab tease, crack off a batch, cock your shotgun, churning the butter, churning butter, clamping the pipe, chong your schlong, choke the chicken, choke the bad guy, chicken-milking, caning the vandal, cabareting, catch up with Popeye, buck the bone, blooch, checking for impotence, check the oil, checking for testicular cancer, cheesing off, charge the rod, charm the serpent, cracking off, crank the cream, cranking for cum, crank the shank, crank the love pump, crank the cream separator, color in the coloring book, come into your own, comforting Gary Coleman, come the turkey, coming into your own, coming one's mutton, clearing the snorkel, crank the monkey, crank the shaft, cuff the meat, cuff the dummy, cuff the carrot, cuff the puppy, creamed beef, cream your corn, dancing with the captain, dash one's doodle, date mother palm and her five daughters, date Palmala Handerson, doing your own thing, doing a little soft-shoe, do the wet-n-stinky, do yourself off, do a dry waltz with oneself, do the dew, disobey the Pope, discipline your soldier, dilly with the willy, dildo doodling, dating Rosie Palm and her five sisters, dicky-whacking, empty the cannon, dollop the weener, doodle the noodle, express yourself (manually), dry-firing the musket, feed the fist, feed the ducks, fight the turkey, fidget with the digit, fight the champ, feed the stick, drain Charle's Dickens, draw on a length, fire the hand cannon, fisting the mister, fist the mister, flick on over the thumb, fist it off, fist-fuck, go on a hand diet, go to war with yourself, fuck the fist, fuck one's fist, fuck your fist, friggle, friggit, flopping beef, give it a one-gun salute, give oneself a handjob, give oneself a low five, giving it a tug, flog the sausage, flogging the dong, flog the pup, flog the whipping-boy, flog the log, flogging the dog, flog the goose, flex one's sex, flog, flog the dong, flog the lizard, flog the dummy, flog a dead horse, flog the hog, flog the meat, flog the pork, flog the dog, flog the dolphin, flog (oneself), flog a willing horse, flog the old whipping-boy, flogging the dolphin, flog the mutton, frig off, flong the dong, grab the flab, going cabareting, fuck Mary Fist, get gravel for the goose, get some self, get some trim, grind off, grip it, grease the goofy, hack off, hand ball, hitchhike under the big top, have a wank, have one off the wrist, hit the ham, having dinner, hand relief, having a tug, haul your own ashes, kick the gong around, mix up a batch, make a bald man cry, make a milkshake, make love to ones fist, lube the cord, milking one's self, manuxorate, in hand, husk it, hump the horn, hot rod it, hug the hog, hump the hose, hold the bold, hone the bone, jag off, jeff off, jerk jelly, jerk Jamby, jerk the joint, jack the joystick, jack hammer, jack your jizz, jack the corn, jack the sack, jack the beanstalk, jack yourself, jog off, jerk the rope, jiggle the jewelry, jerk the Turk, jerk the mutton, jerk the johnson, jerk your jewels, knead your dough, knitting, knock the top off, knock on wood, juice the fruit, just jerkin' it, jerk the turkey, looking askance, Levy and Frank, please the pisser, play pocket pool, play pocket billiards, play the bones, play the male organ, play with Willy Wanker, play the piss pipe, play with your Willy Wanker, perm the poodle, pat me muller, pack the palm, pat the Robertson, palm it, night-club, mustard on the burger, oscillating the Oscar Meyer, popping a nut, popping the cork, pocket billiards, pocket polka, pocket pinball, playing pocket pool, pound the peenie, pound the meat, pound the pud, pound off, pocket pool, pocket waltz, pound it, pound the bobo, pound the flounder, pinch the cat, prune the fifth limb, prime it, puff the one-eyed dragon, pull one's joint, pull one's dong, pump one's pickle, pull the joint, pull the root, pull your prick, pull wire, pulling rank, pulling a solo session, pull the taffy, pull the pud, pull the pole, pull the pork, pull one's wang, pull it (off), pull putz, pull one off, pull the peter, raise the flag, raising Lazarus from the dead, rake your meat, ram the ham, rank, rowing the boat, rub the radish, rub one out, rub the magic lamp, rub off by hand, rub the knob, rub the (little) head, rub the tub, shake up, shake the snake, shake the weasel, run a batch, reading with one hand, pump off, pump oneself off, she-bop, Sherman, shift gears, Sherman tank, shake hands with the governor, run off by hand, salute the sailor, slide the shaft, skin the bone, skin the lizard, shoot the cat, shoot skeet, sing an aria, sing with Rosie, spam wham, solo marathon, solo spit, spackling the ceiling, solo flight, smash the stake, slimmer, slam the ham, slam the spam, strain the vein, stir the stew, squirt one off, squirt seed, spit one off, spit the seeds, squeeze it off, squeeze off, squeezing the cheese, squirting the seed, take in hand, take a beating, sweep off, stroke the bloke, suffocate the organ, stroke the poker, stroke oneself, stroke the dog, stroke the string, stroke the beef, stroke the stallion, stroke the lizard, stroke off, take down (by hand), take oneself in hand, tame the monster, thrap(e), throttle the turkey, throttle kojak, throw the ball around, throwing (one), tap-dance, teach Yule Brenner some respect, tame the bald-headed mouse, tame the beef weasel, tee off, tease the python, toss him off, turn the knob, tweak the twiddle, twang the wire, triborgasmia, whack your Magic Johnson, whacking it, whack the yak, whank, whank-pit, whack the bishop, whack it, whack, whack the pud, whack off, wax the candle-stick, wax the bean, wax the beam, wang off, waste a short time, watch the eyelid movies, waving the magic wand, unclog the pipes, Uncle Frank, visit Mrs. Palm and her 5 daughters, wank on it, wank-pit, wackomatic, yank yourself (off), wienering, whipping off, work it off, work off, work oneself off, whip it, wax the board, wonk off, wrench off, yang the wang, yank off, yank (it), wrist-off, yank your wank, yanking off, yank your strap, taking part in population control, doing a hand job,

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master bacon
master member
master of ceremonies
master tool
master-slave
masterbation
Mastercard Mary
masterpiece
masticators
mastigophobia
mastilagnia
mastocontrectation
mastolagnia
mastophallation
mastophallator
mastos
mastunculi
masturbate
masturbation
masturbation-female
  masturbator
 masturbatoress
 masturbatory orgy
 mat
 match ends
 match with
 matched
 matched set pair
 matchrupcy
 matchrupt
 mate
 mate with
 mate-swapper
 mate-swapping
 mated
 material part
 matinee, a
 mating
 mating meat
 mating tool
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Dictionary of Sexual Terms - 24150 terms and expressions, 3500 quotes, 47000 synonyms
Dictionary of the F-Word - 865 terms and expressions 200 quotes, 2200 synonyms
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